LITTLE STAR - An attempt at a Script Version

[[Eden]]

I like snaps attempt too

just didn't appreciate much the pic-kissing part. Don't really know why, maybe mostly because I wouldn't say Teresa is obsessed with Theres.
I'm not saying she is not, just that I wouldn't say she is. If it makes sense, uh.

At that point in the book Teresa already sees herself as a part of Tesla and somebody quite close to Theres.

I think she had been obsessed with Tora, when she was on screen... yes

[varamiglite]

I think the picture kissing part is necessary because I believe that Teresa is obsessed with Theres "in that way" but Theres never returns that affection. It kind of furthers Teresa's alienation and makes her feel even more unacceptable. Teresa kissing the picture has to stay!

[snaps]

I put the shot of Teresa kissing the photo of Theres in, simply as a cinematic means of establishing some kind of relationship between them, rather than implying a particular kind of relationship. We have to assume that many, probably most, of an audience will not have read the book, so we have to have fairly heavy-handed pointers sometimes. Durrrrr ... ''these two girls are connected somehow''.

The photo also acts as a segue for the next scene featuring Theres centre-stage, as the camera tracks back. For the benefit of the audience: ''this scene of obvious tragedy is connected with the notice that Teresa was typing on her puter'', whilst engaging them in the mystery of ''who the .... is this other girl, and why is she singing, oblivious to the scene around her?''

Anyhow. Enough from me. It's Daniel's thread really and I don't want to muscle in on it. His opening scene was enough to stir my imagination, which is the sign that he is an engaging writer.

[danielma]

I put the shot of Teresa kissing the photo of Theres in, simply as a cinematic means of establishing some kind of relationship between them, rather than implying a particular kind of relationship. We have to assume that many, probably most, of an audience will not have read the book, so we have to have fairly heavy-handed pointers sometimes. Durrrrr ... ''these two girls are connected somehow''.

The photo also acts as a segue for the next scene featuring Theres centre-stage, as the camera tracks back. For the benefit of the audience: ''this scene of obvious tragedy is connected with the notice that Teresa was typing on her puter'', whilst engaging them in the mystery of ''who the .... is this other girl, and why is she singing, oblivious to the scene around her?''

Anyhow. Enough from me. It's Daniel's thread really and I don't want to muscle in on it. His opening scene was enough to stir my imagination, which is the sign that he is an engaging writer.

I don't mind...I was actually going to suggest...instead of having her kiss the photo...maybe have her stroke the photo...like show her just gently stroking the photo with her hand...I think there is something kind of creepy and gentle at the same time about watching Teresa stroke her hand over the photo...kissing seems a little too much...other than that...I like what you wrote

Also, how many times does Teresa try to take Theres hand ...So I think Stroking her hand across the photo would not only be creepy but also rather appropriate considering how many times she tries to take her hand throughout the novel

Okay I took another stab at the opening...I finally got Final Draft installed on my computer (which makes doing this SOOO much easier)...here's what I came up with thanks to some suggestions from people on this board

SLOW FADE IN

INT. LIVING ROOM. NIGHT

We hang on a DIMLY LIT Living Room. There is a COUCH, an OPEN WINDOW. The floor is out of sight, Its an eerily calm sight, almost peaceful but an air of DREAD hangs over this room. In the BACKGROUND we can hear the faint sounds of sirens. The faint sounds of SCREAMS. Of a CROWD Panic. Whether they are close or far off is undetermined.

The CURTAINS blow slightly from an open window as the CAMERA starts to push slowly in.

We hang on this scene for just a few moments.

Then we hear the VOICE of a YOUNG GIRL NARRATING OFF CAMERA

YOUNG GIRL (O.S.)

You will ask why?
Why
Why
Why
On the News Placards
Big Thick Letters
WHY?
And this is our Answer

CUT TO

EXT. AN OUTDOOR ARENA. NIGHT

There is a Marquee out the front of an open aired arena. Proudly Presenting “The Sing Along At Skansen”

CUT TO

INT. SING ALONG AT SKANSEN

We pan across the rafters revealing a deafening crowd. Ages varying from Teenagers to Middle Aged Men and Women. Some of the people in attendance are holding signs proclaiming with various sayings

Sayings such as “We Love Tesla” and “I’m Tesla’s #1 Fan”.

We pan along the rafters until the camera stops and focuses on one girl standing amongst the fans.

This is TERESA. No older then 15 years old and a little on the Chubby side. She almost looks out of place amongst the crowd, almost like she doesn’t belong with the anticipated crowd. She looks focused, she looks prepared, her mind elsewhere.

We remain focused on her face. Then we suddenly hear the loud announcement over the loud speaker of the next performer on the main stage.

ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
Ladies and Gentleman
At this time we are proud to introduce to the stage a remarkable young talent.
She was a contestant on Idol and an Internet sensation
Please put your raise your voices and put your hands together for the Vocal Stylings of TESLA!

The Cheers raise through the crowd. It’s almost deafening. TERESA does not join in on the cheers. Instead she lets out a Wry hint of a Sinister Smile at the announcement.

CUT TO. THE MAIN STAGE

Focused on a Microphone stand, a young girl takes the stage and approaches the Microphone. However we only see her from the back. The only feature that can be defined is her Golden Hair. This girl is a mystery. The crowd are very much into her. The stage lights are overpowering. It almost looks dream like. Almost surreal. In the background of the sound mix, we can hear the slightest hint of Electric Drills within the crowd.

CUT TO. BLACK

TITLE CARD: LITTLE STAR

TITLE CARD: 15 YEARS EARLIER

[snaps]

Hi Daniel.

I like the way this is going.

I think you are taking on a daunting task. I would like to see it succeed.

I have spent a year, off and on, in trying to convert a film into a novel/novella where there is no pre-existing print form, just the script, and that is a daunting task. Over 120 scenes in a one and half hour film. I have had to entirely restrcuture the story in order for it to make sense in print form. I have had to take immense liberties with the storyline to make it fit in with linear presentation of the film.

There really is immense difference between the two art forms. In book form you can record ''internal observations'' what characters are thinking, at some length. You don't have this luxury in film media. It is probably worth looking into something like ''The Definitive Guide to Screenwriting'' by Syd Field.

There really isn't such a single entity as a ''screenplay''. Even during a ''shooting'' there maybe up to twenty re-writes of a single scene ''in loco''.

There is the BASIC screenplay, the one that actors read, in order to decide whether or not to audition for the part. This may be minimal in terms of camera directions.

There is the BASIC plus (when appointed) Directors Notes, which concentrate on the artistic direction, plus observations to cinematographer.

There is the detailed CINEMATOGRAPHERS version which details to the second, every movement e.g. usually marked out in colour-coded tape on the floor: Actor A walks from point X to point Y.

I have been advised to keep camera calls to a minimum. If nothing else, than avoid p...ing of potential cinematographers.

There isn't a single right way of doing this. ''An air of doom hangs over the room'' is OK for the very basic, although that could be from any film. You should be prepared to explain how that is achieved visually e.g. ''camera focusses on stuffed bird of prey and quick intercuts between that image and the motel booking clerk'' gives you Alfred Hitchcock's ''Psycho''. See what I mean?

Film as a medium has been dumbed down ever since the demise of ''silent film'' where audiences had to use their imaginations. 3D etc is NOT interactive. It diminishes the viewer to the passive point where the next generation of 4D includes Usherettes patrolling the aisles drillling out the brains of gah-gah viewers.

I think you have made a good start, but be aware of becoming bogged down in detail. Roll with it, like you have done here. Those of us who have read the novel will be fascinated to close our eyes and imagine your cinematic interpretation