Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

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dongregg
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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by dongregg » Sun Mar 03, 2019 5:07 am

Last week or so she signaled that she is moving on to other writing projects. I'm holding off to see if she drifts back into our sphere. :(
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by gkmoberg1 » Mon Mar 04, 2019 4:17 am

Her writing is wonderful! Please ask her to return-drift :)

Meanwhile...

“This is remarkable. All of it.”

“Then yesterday...” Halima says. Mr Ávila already leaning forward knows this is going to get tricky and very soon.

“Halima,” he says interrupting. “Please tell me how you have time to be watching us so thoroughly.”

“My mother sends me out once I pester her too much. By noon each day she cannot take my help any more. See, I remember where everything is and how everything is. She is working on the clothing and the house and my brother who is little and usually some part of cooking. I keep track of where all pieces are for her for each thing she is doing. And I keep track of each step so that she does not forget.”

“Does this mean you are helping by telling her each step before she takes it and telling her where each spoon is before she goes to reach for it?”

“Why yes. Exactly!”

“Ahh,” says Mr Ávila, getting a grasp of the situation. “But does she not ask you then to help directly?”

“She says my offers are very kind but she must do it herself.”

“But why? You know all the steps, or so it seems from what you are telling me.”

“I do! But mother tells me the doing is to done so as to get the tasks completed, not so as to spend the day doing the steps.” Halima frowns at Mr Ávila. “Can you explain that to me?” she asks.

Mr Ávila rubbed his hands together. “Your mother and you are seeing things differently. That is all. You see the steps. She sees the goal.”

“Getting dinner ready. Getting my little brother to school.”

“Yes. And it sounds like you see the steps: getting out the ingredients, preparing them, combining them. Cooking them.”

“Well, how am I do solve that?”

“You don’t need to ‘solve’ it, Halima,” Mr Ávila says. “You only need to think a bit more about the ‘why’ and keep that in mind as you learn more.”

“You sound like a teacher.”

“Well,” I am, “in a way. I have long been a teacher.”

“Let me take this up with you. Okay then? I will give this some practice. You say, I can spot the steps. But I do not know how to add them up. I suspect you are right. Let me try."

"I am curious to hear!" Mr Ávila says and shifts his position on the grass.

"Okay then. First, I see you and your children. The next day I come back and I see you and no children. I watch you and several other families. Some are here as part of a travel. Some are here for other purposes; I have learned to spot them. But you are different. When I came back later, you were with your children. You eat. They do not. Same as before. I see you walking off towards Saint-Denis as the previous evening. This time I follow you. You take the bus in towards Paris. So do I. You sit in the row behind your children and they talk and play the entire way. I sit in the row behind you.”

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by PeteMork » Tue Mar 05, 2019 3:19 pm

"...You sit in the row behind your children and they talk and play the entire way. I sit in the row behind you.”

Wow! Halima is evolving right before our eyes from being fascinating to bizarre; from innocent to obsessive; from Maxwell Smart to Sherlock Holmes. Nice metamorphosis. Love it!
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by gkmoberg1 » Wed Mar 06, 2019 12:18 am

I remember when I was a teen having the time to get into all sorts of mischief and activities. Where does that ability go? My days now are just as long (I don't think Climate Change has managed to shorten the length of 24 hour day as yet) but how was it that then I found time to keep a penny collection, play with the pets, have a whiffle ball tournament with friends and so on whereas now I'm lucky just to work out the bills, go to the grocery, and maybe clean some part of the house? Long ago I had time to examine pennies one by one and sort out the D's from the S's from the plain ones (perhaps you know what I mean?). Nowadays I can't even tell you what's on the reverse side of a penny. ... I bring this up because Halima has that ability -that magic of all the time in the world- for now. She drives her mother nuts, apparently, by about noontime and then has the afternoon and evening to keep tabs on the neighborhood and heaven knows what all else.

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by dongregg » Wed Mar 06, 2019 1:23 am

She drives her mother nuts, apparently, by about noontime and then has the afternoon and evening to keep tabs on the neighborhood and heaven knows what all else.
I can scarcely wait to find out what all else!
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by gkmoberg1 » Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:26 am

PeteMork wrote:
Tue Mar 05, 2019 3:19 pm
"...You sit in the row behind your children and they talk and play the entire way. I sit in the row behind you.”

Wow! Halima is evolving right before our eyes from being fascinating to bizarre; from innocent to obsessive; from Maxwell Smart to Sherlock Holmes. Nice metamorphosis. Love it!
Hmmm. I didn't mean for there to be a metamorphosis. She did say from the start that she had followed him. And she's been up front on pretty much all of it. He just didn't realize just how much so she had followed them at first. I suppose that would have been a bit awkward though for starting off her conversation with him. Smart girl. Me, I'm just writing this; I have no control over the gal.

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by gkmoberg1 » Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:28 am

Ah, here we go. Sorry for the delay. Had to survive a few things here at my end, of which I'll skip the details.

On with the story!

Book 3.51, Scroll #2
Chapter 16 + après tea time : Halima talar inte svenska


“… You take the bus in towards Paris. So do I. You sit in the row behind your children and they chatter the entire way. I sit in the row behind you.”

Mr Ávila shifts his position and continues to listen. “You did say you had followed us,” he agrees. He weighs that while this is alarming, it is revealing and that, to this point, it appears this girl is being honest with him. He decides he respects this, yet will have to evaluate what he is learning.

“I sit behind you. But, I don’t understand a single word. I gather the mood from what you and the children are saying. I learn a little about you and them. But there is so few words to understand.”

“It’s Swedish,” says Mr Ávila.

“That explains! Okay then. I am left to wonder. But here is my understanding: they are traveling with you. You seem to be a very close guardian to them. Yet it is clear from the first look they are ill. They are white as snow yet otherwise seem healthy. Also, you seem to know a little of Paris and they know nothing. When we got to Montmartre, you got out and I could tell you were explaining much to them.” She pauses.

“And then?” he queries, wondering what she might have seen.

“Little else. I had to return home. I left you and the children to wander. I got some sweets for my brother and some spices for my mother.”

“Nothing for yourself?” he asks, concealing a sigh of relief.

“A good book! Moi D’Abord. It was in a used book bin.” She waves it at him, pulling it from a pocket.

“Very well. You have told me your facts. As a detective, what conclusion can you make?” Mr Ávila knows it is dangerous to ask for her to add things up, yet he needs to know whether he needs to be considering an immediate exit.

Halima thinks for a bit while Mr Ávila finishes his tea.

“Okay then. You are traveling with two sick children. They are gladly with you. If you are a villain who steals children, they would not be as they are. But you are traveling to some place I do not know where. Perhaps you are taking them to a doctor. Perhaps you are are taking them to their parents. From the way you and the boy and the girl talk, they like you. So, I like you too. When I think about all this last night, I decide I want to come today and talk with you.”

“Well, Miss Halima, I am pleased with your thinking. It sounds to me you not only have reasoned a logic set of points but also a set of interpretations. And you are mostly correct, by the way. I am impressed.”

“I am? Thank you.”

“And to answer your question from when you first arrived: yes, I do accept your being a guide for us. That is, if you are still interested.”

“Thank you!” she says again. “I will be your guide. May we meet later?”

“If that is okay with your parents, then it is okay with me.”

“If we meet at Saint-Denis as you went last night at that time, then I can help you for two hours. I would very happy!”

“Halima, I agree. The three of us will see you at the station. And this time you don’t have to sit behind us.”

Halima thanks him and gets up. She packs up her box, collects her bags and says good-bye for now.

As Mr Ávila watches, she walks up to the road. But before she heads away, she waves to one side and a young boy appears from beside a tree. He bounces over to her and once they are hand-in-hand, they walk off. He notices she hands him a Rghaif from her other bag and he busies himself with devouring it as they go.

Returning to his seat, Mr Ávila ponders what can be learned from this very unexpected interview. He finds almost immediately a concern over a few questions, specifically the ones she did not ask.

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by dongregg » Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:54 am

Another thrilling installment!

It' a real stroke to have such a keen observer describing how the little family appears. For the most part, you can count on people "normalizing" the kids' peculiarities.

Halima doesn't "normalize what she sees.

But Halima!!! What a fascinating character. :wub:
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by gkmoberg1 » Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:06 pm

Okay, it's been a wait. Sorry

I got a note delivered to me in Eli's handwriting with a single word written on it: When?

ha ha, very funny. But yeh i get the hint...

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Re: Community Prompt Sharing and Adapting

Post by gkmoberg1 » Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:21 pm

Book98 2nd Edition
Chapter 19.076: Magnifique och Bastille!


The man is wearing a very well made shirt. The material that went into its construction is superior. There is no need for branding, such as with a logo. No, this is a prized item. In fact the shirt, the pants, the shoes are each immaculate. Each looks to be tailored to the precise cut for the wearer. Each is creased and cleaned to the point of a perfection. As well, the man is clean shaven. The thinning hair over his keen eyes is likewise immaculate. He is a picture. And as Mr Ávila approaches, the man stands in a smooth graceful motion, one that does not break any of the steady impression that had met his initial glance.

~ ~ ~

Earlier, Eli and Oskar had tumbled out of the caravan just as they had done so on the previous two evenings.

“I could set my watch by you,” Mr Ávila said.

“Tick tick,” said Oskar with a smile. “What are we going to do?”

“The very question of the day,” he replied. It certainly had been!

For the better part of the afternoon, Mr Ávila had contemplated exactly that.

“Eli, Oskar. We’ve had a visitor.”

The two looked at him.

“Turns out we had a shadow last night.”

“A shadow?” asked Eli, “at night?”

“A visitor today?” asked Oskar at the same moment.

“Let me explain,” said Mr Ávila holding up a hand. “A local girl named Halima has decided she likes the two of you and wants to meet you.”

This grabbed the kids’ attention.

“She came to see me today and wants to be our tour guide.”

“Is that good?” asked Oskar.

“What about the shadow?” asked Eli.

“What do you mean she ‘decided she likes us’ ?” said Oskar.

“I told her that yes, she could be our guide. I think you will like her.”

“Shadow?” repeated Eli.

“Okay, little one. A shadow means -”

“It means,” Oskar said jumping in on Mr Ávila, “we were followed. Somebody was following us. Last night.” He looked around. Eli did too.

“No, our shadow is gone now. And it was Halima.” Again the two looked at him.

“She went with us. Err, she shadowed us on the bus ride and then was nearby in Montmartre.”

Eli’s eyes grew big. And then yet bigger. As did Oskar’s. “Did she...?”

~ ~ ~

Mr Ávila knew the man had gotten up in response to their arrival. Oskar and Eli were but a pace behind him as he came into the station.

Next to the man sat a teenage girl, whom Mr Ávila did not recognize. She had on a breezy flowing blue, black and aqua khimar and was about equally well dressed. Her hands were gently clasped and set upon her knee. He suspected by a nod she was making that she had just said something to the man.

Yet the most striking element about her was the glasses: huge round ovals with dark heavy rims, the arms of which disappeared back into her khimar. The effect of the lenses momentarily drew Mr Ávila’s attention. They enlarged the eyes yet the effect was framed within the leading edges of the khimar as it fell gracefully about her face.

The man took a step forward towards Mr Ávila and stopped. The girl remained seated behind him.

Only when she looked up did it snap to Mr Ávila’s mind that this was Halima. And this, then, would be her father.

~ ~ ~

“No, no. She was gone by then,” Mr Ávila had replied. “She could not stay out late and so had to go back home.”

“When are we going to meet her?” asked Eli.

“She has offered to be our guide this evening. It’s very nice of her to offer to do so. Yet I suspect this could be short. She probably cannot stay out as late as with us. Yet to answer your question, she is going to meet us at the bus station. How does this sounds to you?”

The children were agreeable to this. There was some chatter about when and where this was to take place and then questions about how long until they would leave for the bus station. The two fell silent as the answers were sorted. It was Eli who moved first to consider the next steps. She looked down at herself and her attire, then back up and gave Mr Ávila a troubled look. She was wearing the same shirt as from yesterday. But not from the day before that, she realized. Then a bit of mischief crept into her and she took a step over to Oskar, who was looking about aloof, and gave him a sniff. She bolted back in an overly dramatic manner and made a face as her eyes doubled in size.

“What?” said Oskar.

“Oooh, you’re going to need some cleanup.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

She pursed her lips and gave him a severe look up and down. “We don’t have Ingrid or Mrs Sassa to help us out. Mr Ávila, do you think...” She grabbed Oskar by both shoulders and abruptly walked him back up against the caravan. “Get in here, we have some work to do.”

Mr Ávila was sent first to get a some water. Then a hand towel. He sat amused in his collapsible chair while exclamations of Oskar’s despair seeped from within.

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