Let the Long Night End (Complete)

A forum for discussing fan fiction related to Let The Right One In
Post Reply
User avatar
PeteMork
Posts: 3781
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:56 pm
Location: Menlo Park, California

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by PeteMork » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:35 am

Wow! Definitely not for the faint-at-heart. A dark gritty tale, full of stomach-churning descriptions of skull-crushings, digital destruction, and the stench of decay. And the deep, all encompassing loneliness of poor Oskar. Very well done!
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by dongregg » Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:01 am

Words fail me when I try to praise this remarkable tale. I'm glad that words don't fail you! This is so engaging--a true page-turner. :o
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
SpartanAltego
Posts: 251
Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
Location: Michigan, U.S.

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by SpartanAltego » Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:53 am

PeteMork wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:35 am
Wow! Definitely not for the faint-at-heart. A dark gritty tale, full of stomach-churning descriptions of skull-crushings, digital destruction, and the stench of decay. And the deep, all encompassing loneliness of poor Oskar. Very well done!
dongregg wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:01 am
Words fail me when I try to praise this remarkable tale. I'm glad that words don't fail you! This is so engaging--a true page-turner. :o
In a way, Part I and Part III could really be considered my long-form interpretation of Oskar's three day separation from Eli taken over a greater stretch of time. Because of the tightly bound nature of Oskar and Eli's relationship, it was important to me that from the get-go I established that Eli was currently in hibernation and Oskar was suffering from crippling depression and loneliness. Otherwise it would be difficult to sell the idea of him being willing to open the door once again and let others slip in, when he already has Eli.

If Eli was awake, it would be much harder for anyone to establish a relationship with Oskar because it inherently becomes "Eli and Oskar" versus anyone else. They're quite a pair in that way. But by having Levi, eventually Milton, and others meet Oskar while Eli is sleeping, there's room for character interplay as well as the inevitable shake-up when our favorite vampire crawls out of bed.

Luckily, this is about the darkest that the story will get for some time now. I'm a firm believer in the power of hope and love, and I'm also an advocate for happiness being earned rather than deserved. Oskar, Eli, Levi, and Milton are characters who deserve happiness - but by my own ethos, it's not about what they deserve. It's about what they get and what they do with it. To that end, the very grim and dark atmosphere of Part I - III will steadily begin to lighten now that the players have been brought together, although don't mistake that for a transformation into a wholly warm and fuzzy tone.

The brightest light casts the darkest shadow. But the darkest shadows make the smallest of lights shine like stars. In Part IV, we'll see our protagonists begin to shine again.
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by dongregg » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:18 am

If Eli was awake, it would be much harder for anyone to establish a relationship with Oskar because it inherently becomes "Eli and Oskar" versus anyone else. They're quite a pair in that way. But by having Levi, eventually Milton, and others meet Oskar while Eli is sleeping, there's room for character interplay as well as the inevitable shake-up when our favorite vampire crawls out of bed.
Boy, I'll say there is! What a gripping tale you're weaving.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
ltroifanatic
Posts: 557
Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 1:35 am
Location: Australia

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by ltroifanatic » Fri Feb 02, 2018 10:06 am

I've been waiting anxiously for this part and it didn't disappoint.Just fantastic.Loved it to bits.Poor little Oskar,so lonely without Eli.I'm glad he'll have the chance to meet new people and form new relationships outside of the three H's.Thanks again. :D
Please Oskar.Be me for a little while.

User avatar
SpartanAltego
Posts: 251
Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
Location: Michigan, U.S.

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by SpartanAltego » Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:01 pm

Went through and fixed a few chronological errors leftover from the earlier drafts of the story regarding the time-stamps. As of Part III, the story has progressed to July 3rd of 1982.

Regarding timelines, it's really incredible to me how the original tale lasted the span of around three weeks. In three weeks, Eli and Oskar went from total strangers to friends bound in blood. Quite literally, given that shortly thereafter Oskar completes his pact with Eli and becomes infected. It's a testament to the strength of the writing that such a compressed time frame, with multiple perspectives at that, can still convince me that Oskar would indeed run away with someone he's known for less than a month and been friends with for an even shorter time.

I, however, am not quite at that level, so the timeline of the story will span from where we began at Midsummer's Eve all the way to the end of 1982. I noted some concern about abandoning the original winter setting for a summer setting in Virginia - much like yourselves, I found the snow and cold to be a powerful and familiar atmosphere for LtLNE's events. However, Eli hibernating in winter wouldn't make much sense given what we know, so the story couldn't logically start at that place. And I wanted a significant amount of time and focus given to the intervening period between his going to sleep and awakening, for aforementioned reasons of character interplay and story flexibility. Needless to say, though, winter will be coming (and Eli with it) in time. I haven't abandoned my mission statement, after all: "Blood on the ice."

A funny little factoid about Part III's climax. Originally, the animal hostile to Eli's presence would've been a pack of coyotes spurred into overly aggressive action by Eli's vampirism. However, even a pack of coyotes aren't necessarily a great threat to even a thirteen year old, particularly with a knife and plenty of motive. Shenandoah has had a few sightings of mountain lions, though, and immediately I realized that having a puma replace the coyotes would not only singularize and magnify the threat but serve as a callback to Virgina's mauling in the novel and film. Cats do not like the supernatural.
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover

User avatar
SpartanAltego
Posts: 251
Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
Location: Michigan, U.S.

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by SpartanAltego » Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:15 am

Well, it's been quite a while since I last poked my head up around these parts! Sorry for that, it's been an..."interesting" two weeks. Felt like much, much, much longer to say the least. Regardless, I have resumed production on LtLNE after my hiatus and hope to have something for you all by the first full week of March. In the meantime I will provide what progress I made pre-hiatus as something to hold you over.

As always, thank you for reading, responding, and receiving my work. You are all very much appreciated.

Let the Long Night End
Part IV
Chasing Shadows

Chasing shadows
Chasing love dreams in vain
While my heart keeps on singing
Just a lonely refrain.


“Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay. To mould me Man, did I solicit thee. From darkness to promote me?” —Paradise Lost, X, 743-45.



MILTON
1982, July 3rd (Dusk)
Waynesboro, Virginia


Milton came within sight of home with the sun almost vanished below the horizon, its last rays of light casting a bloody red cloud on the edge of the darkening sky. Pulling his Honcho into the front driveway, he parked and took a moment to simply let the engine sit, letting his thoughts melt into the rumble of the engine – and to appropriately announce his presence. Before him, his Charleston-styled half house awaits, a shadowed monolith battered by the tides of a bloody ocean.

In the years they had lived together, Milton had worked with Levi to develop something of an alert system, both of them wishing to be prepared for all eventualities. In Levi’s room was a CB radio set to a specific channel and left on at all times, a matching radio located in the older man’s Honcho. Flicking on the microphone, Milton leans in and whistles a short series of beats.

‘Olly, olly, oxen-free.’ Their all-clear signal. Silence meant that Levi needed to run and hide. Throttling the engine meant visitors, but no danger. He waits for Levi’s response.

Minutes pass. Milton frowns, and repeats once more their signal across the radio waves. When nothing and nobody answers in return, he sighs and shuts off his Jeep, stumbling slightly when his left knee flares with discomfort as he steps onto the gravel driveway. Maybe Levi wasn’t home, restless as he became when the moon waxed closer and closer to completion. The lights were out, after all.

Climbing the steps to his front door, he pulls aside the metal screen preface and slips a key into the interior door’s knob, letting himself in. Flipping on the lights, he slips out of his shoes, hangs his jacket, and breathes in the warm, familiar air. Home. Moving to the kitchen, he is disappointed to see it in more or less the same condition as he’d left it. Dishes were not done, there was no sign of any addition to the pile, and nothing new in the refrigerator. Levi usually cooked and cleaned – by his own insistence more than requirement – but perhaps this particular lateness of the lunar season was more potent than usual.

Still, Milton can’t help but feel a stab of wistful hunger as he removes a bottle of beer and takes a handful of grapes to chew on. He was too tired to prepare his own dinner tonight, and the immediate hunger for a warm shower was greater than the craving for a full belly. The second floor held both his own bedroom and Levi’s, as well as their adjoined bathroom – odd, he didn’t remember leaving his bedroom door closed when he left. Given Levi’s apparent absence, he decides to cut through the boy’s room to shorten the distance, absently flipping on the light switch by the door.

The vanishing of the darkness, and what it unveils, freezes him mid-stride. God, don’t tell me…

Deep gouges in the wall. A hole punched clean through. A shredded bed, and an open window, a warm breeze swaying the red curtains with impossible stillness, as if they were snakes twisting beneath the water. A trail of black droplets dried against the bare floor leading from the bathroom. With trembling hands, Milton follows the stains, images of a naked corpse, bloated in the bathtub and wrists opened on either arm, flashing in his sight in the instant before he turns the bathroom light on.

He cannot help the shaking sigh of relief that bursts from his lips, a tinge of mirthless laughter in its final note. Levi was not in the tub – although the door to the medicine cabinet was, a crack in the shower wall from where it had been thrown with some measure of force. Maybe, Milton dared to hope, all of this was just another mood-swing and the boy would be coming back any minute now.

But something in the sink draws his eye. Flecks of red and black against the ivory bowl. A pair of stained scissors. Milton extends a hand and pinches some of it between his fingers. It’s hard. And bloody.

Several segments littered the basin, most severed at either ends to expose hollow innards. Some, though, had fleshy membrane inside, and threads of black that twitched in the light. Levi had trimmed his nails, then, and clearly done a poor job of it. Milton was the one who tended to management of the boy’s…less than pleasant bodily shifts as the lunar month progressed; filing and trimming the obsidian dog-like nails that grew up and over his human fingers. Cutting the increasingly thicker and rougher patches of hair that would break through the skin at various points across the body. Scrubbing away portions of necrotic flesh so that the smell (and the flies) wouldn’t disturb either of them, or anyone else for that matter.

“Okay. So you woke up, something set you off. You trash your room, then you head for your manicure,” Milton narrates, examining the blood-slick scissors. “You had to know that this would hurt like crazy. Definitely after your first attempt. But you kept going…until you finished, looks like.”

“And then…” the pastor’s brown eyes fall to the floor, and the flecks of dried blood that stood against the wood and tiles like macabre bread-crumbs. “You went…”

His bedroom door was closed. Milton knew that he hadn’t closed it himself. Levi went into his room, left the door closed to avoid signaling his entry, forgetting it had been open. Why would he-

The scissors fell back into the basin, utterly forgotten, as heavy strides propelled the suddenly very energized pastor out into the hall and directly for the plain white door that stood between his waking reality and his worst nightmares.

Milton paid heed to neither traffic etiquette nor speed as he hurtled down the road, pushing his Honcho as fast as it could go. Crumpled in a ball in the passenger-side seat, a small, smoothly written note of few words. Words were like living things. They carried meaning, point of view, and agenda. Pack-hunters. A few words could take down a malady of the soul, break the deepest fugue from a mind lost to weariness.

Words could rip an old man’s heart from his chest and eat it still-beating before his eyes.

“A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. Thank you. You can find whatever is left of me – the real me – back at the well. I’m sorry.”



OSKAR
1982, July 3rd (Night)
Shenandoah Park, Virginia


..........
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by dongregg » Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:57 am

Part IV does not disappoint! You've got a great story going.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
ltroifanatic
Posts: 557
Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 1:35 am
Location: Australia

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by ltroifanatic » Sat Feb 24, 2018 2:29 am

Yes.Great story Dante.More,more..lol..thanks for sharing. :D
Please Oskar.Be me for a little while.

User avatar
PeteMork
Posts: 3781
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:56 pm
Location: Menlo Park, California

Re: Let the Long Night End

Post by PeteMork » Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:58 am

I'm still impressed. And getting more so. Your imagery is still raw, and startles. Not for someone with a weak stomach.
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

Post Reply

Return to “Fan Fiction”