Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby dongregg » Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:21 am

Discussion area for Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 6

When Oskar grows still and Eli is sure he's asleep, she gently presses her lips to his and feels a little bit wicked. She smiles and purrs as she slips into her dreamless sleep.

http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancontent/ff/set-me-seal-upon-your-heart-part-6
Last edited by dongregg on Sat Aug 20, 2016 3:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby dongregg » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:51 pm

Okay! After the five months it took to complete parts 4 and 5, Book 2 begins with part 6. I would love feedback on how the story is going so far. :D
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby ltroifanatic » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:47 am

Love the way it's going.Finding out more about mr Avila is very interesting and I can see why he has taken the children in.Also fascinating is the developing relationship between Sassa and Prof Grigore.Both finding love at a time when the children are finding theirs."Flying"was thrilling and I felt as if I could see them together whooping and falling through the clouds.The conversation between the kids was sad as it brought home the terrible things they will have to do to survive.Very good all round and I can't wait for the next one.
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby jkwilliams » Wed Aug 10, 2016 11:30 pm

They grow quiet, and after a minute, Oskar says, "Eli, are you saying you’re okay with being a vampire?"

"No! I'm not okay. But I think I have to learn to be. Living like I’m not responsible for what I do – that makes me unhappier than anything I can think of."

I'm a bit like Oskar, I'm not sure where you're going with this. If Eli were to become truly comfortable with being a vampire would he still be the same character we all love? It does bring up a good question though. Now that Eli has found a playmate just like himself, why would he bother trying to hang on to his human side anymore?

I think Ávila and Grigore are way too accepting of the situation and have fallen into the same trap as Eli's other caretakers. I know they want to protect the kids and try to give them as normal a life as possible but how far are they willing to go? What would happen if the kids became housebound and couldn't hunt or if they killed a person that Ávila or Grigore knew?

I wish you would do what JAL does and include more pop culture references and news events from the time. It would make it feel more realistic and remind the reader that the story takes place in the 1980s. You could also go into more detail about how the kids hunt. It's a big part of their lives but you kind of skip over it in the story.
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby dongregg » Thu Aug 11, 2016 1:15 am

They grow quiet, and after a minute, Oskar says, "Eli, are you saying you’re okay with being a vampire?"

"No! I'm not okay. But I think I have to learn to be. Living like I’m not responsible for what I do – that makes me unhappier than anything I can think of."

I'm a bit like Oskar, I'm not sure where you're going with this. If Eli were to become truly comfortable with being a vampire would he still be the same character we all love? It does bring up a good question though. Now that Eli has found a playmate just like himself, why would he bother trying to hang on to his human side anymore?

Great questions, JK. You'll read in part 7 that Eli challenges the family in a conference. It will come out that when one is infected, the previous personality (feelings, memories, morals) remain intact, creating a conflict. She wants to be "okay" with being a murderer and a nice little kid. She'll never be "comfortable" with it. Mainly, she wants to be herself instead of pretending to be a host to a vampiric infection and blaming it for her less than savory behavior.

She acknowledges during the conference that getting infected was a one-time event that changed every cell of her body. She hunts because she is a vampire and lives on blood, not because an evil part of her takes over. What takes over, as we saw in the basement scene, is the hunting instinct of a hungry predator, not some evil being living within her.

She gets Oskar to help her take responsibility for her actions by them attempting to become vigilantes. But she's a little kid, and she begins to doubt that she can pull it off. In part 7, the grownups point out that it's still murder and, actually, isn't she trying to repudiate being a vampire instead of accepting it?

Where will this take us? I know where, but it will have to play out in Barcelona. Mr. Ávila has an idea, but part of his wisdom is that the answer has to come from the kids. Then he can help facilitate it. The situation will have to ripen into fullness, and that won't be until part 8 or beyond.

She and Oskar make a start in "Flying," but, yeah, she's a kid and realizes she needs to talk the whole thing over with the grownups, which she does in part 7 in the family conference.

I think Ávila and Grigore are way too accepting of the situation and have fallen into the same trap as Eli's other caretakers. I know they want to protect the kids and try to give them as normal a life as possible but how far are they willing to go? What would happen if the kids became housebound and couldn't hunt or if they killed a person that Ávila or Grigore knew?

Several good points, JK, but you'll have to wait for part 7. Eli is going to hold the grownups' feet to the fire about being accessories to murder. She's going to quietly ask the questions that rip the grownups' rationalizations to shreds, like "vampires are part of Nature's scheme" and that Eli and Oskar are "magnificent predators, like wolves." As to what happens when plans don't work out right? The grownups are two remarkably able people, as we saw in "Rakel." There are threatening things that could come up, but I trust the grownups to handle them. And they really are part of a powerful team of four able people, each with his or her own contribution to the whole.

As for what would happen if they kill someone whom the grownups love? I put a very important person's workplace only a couple of blocks from the Old Cemetary Park where Oskar and Eli hunt a lot. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That gives me the willies, but I doubt whether anyone else thought much about it. Nobody has mentioned it to me.

Individually, Professor Grigore has made it clear in part 3 why he bought in, in "The Reveal" and in "Equations of Survival." Mr. Ávila ditto in part 2 and at greater length in part 6 ("Señor Ávila").

I wish you would do what JAL does and include more pop culture references and news events from the time. It would make it feel more realistic and remind the reader that the story takes place in the 1980s. You could also go into more detail about how the kids hunt. It's a big part of their lives but you kind of skip over it in the story

I wish for the pop references, too. I've solicited stuff on our forum about what kind of music, books, movies, etc., the kids would buy for each other for Christmas, so some of those pop or period references are gift wrapped under the tree on Järavallsgatan (part 7). As for the kids hunting, you'll have to settle for the many, many great descriptions in other FFs. I don't normally do extreme violence ("Rakel" excepted), graphic murder, sex, or even bad language.

As usual, JK, I can count on you to present an honest appraisal of "Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart." It has pretty much reached novel length, so thank you a thousand times for sticking with it. :shock: :wub:
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby gkmoberg1 » Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:42 pm

Priceless stuff dongregg! The developing situation with Sassa and Constantin and the way you build it up really has charm. The professor is a goner. No chance at all there.

My name is Fernando Cristóbal de Reyes y Ávila. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Best part for me - as somebody who like to look at how stories work - is the balance you provide of the three parts: Sassa/Constantin + E&O + Ávila /Grigore /E&O. Makes the E&O parts sweeter when we get to them.

Exciting developments throughout. Keep going!
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby dongregg » Fri Sep 02, 2016 4:46 pm

gkmoberg1 wrote:My name is Fernando Cristóbal de Reyes y Ávila. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Ha ha! Very sharp, GK. Although Mr. Ávila's name is from the novel, I worded it the way Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) said his whole name in The Princess Bride, which I've watched a number of times.

Part 6 of "Set Me as a Seal" presented a number of challenges. Didn't know I could do justice to Professor Grigore, how a shy, inexperienced old bachelor could handle falling in love. But I fell in love with Sassa the same time he did (part 5), so that helped.

Best part for me - as somebody who likes to look at how stories work - is the balance you provide of the three parts: Sassa/Constantin + E&O + Ávila /Grigore /E&O. Makes the E&O parts sweeter when we get to them.

Thanks, that was another stretch for me -- keeping the attention of forum members when our little munchkins were not at the center of the action.

Part 7, which takes the action to Christmas -- first and last Christmas in Malmö -- has some dear parts and some surprising twists. It's about half written, but it won't be submitted for moderation for a couple of months, I'm guessing.

Thanks for your astute comments, as usual! :D
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby ltroifanatic » Sat Sep 03, 2016 12:02 am

Can't wait to read Part 7.Poor lil Eli.How is she going to take realising that the terrible things she has to do is because she is what she is and not being controlled by some virus or thing inside her.(if she doesn't know already deep inside).Perhaps that's why she cries over her victims.She cries for them but also for herself?Thank goodness she'll be supported by Oskar and the others.Keep up the good work.
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby dongregg » Sat Sep 03, 2016 1:17 am

ltroifanatic wrote:Can't wait to read Part 7. Poor lil Eli.How is she going to take realising that the terrible things she has to do is because she is what she is and not being controlled by some virus or thing inside her. (if she doesn't know already deep inside). Perhaps that's why she cries over her victims. She cries for them but also for herself? Thank goodness she'll be supported by Oskar and the others. Keep up the good work.

It was odd to me when I joined this wonderful forum three years ago that there was so much discussion of Eli's nature. Is she evil? Is she a little girl, a victim? And her crying after killing Jocke was often cited as an example of her not wanting to kill people. But early on I wrote that maybe she's crying for herself, for 220 years of living a wretched, lonely, impoverished existence.

The new life in the little family finally shows her that there is more to her unhappiness than she imagined. It's good that she begins to come to terms with being a vampire, an agent in the world, not a hapless victim.

So it's great to see Eli struggling to own up to the obvious, that she's a vampire. What about Oskar? The dear boy rather enjoys being a vampire. After all, he asked to be turned. He was an isolated, bullied, powerless child, but no more. And he has something Eli never had -- a companion who adores him and whom he adores.

Well, Eli's existential dilemma won't be easily resolved, but Eli makes a start in parts 6 and 7, and we're all the better for it.

Anyway, isn't it fun to have Eli joining in on the conversation on the forum as to her true nature? :D
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 6

Postby PeteMork » Sat Sep 03, 2016 5:13 am

It's great fun! And you're having the most fun of all. Go, Don!
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)
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