Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby dongregg » Fri Feb 05, 2016 5:18 am

Discussion area for Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 4

The wind has picked up and the sky has darkened. He points his old Fiat toward Järavallsgatan and makes it home as a few large drops splatter against his windshield.

http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancontent/ff/set-me-seal-upon-your-heart-part-4
Last edited by dongregg on Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:42 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby PeteMork » Fri Feb 05, 2016 9:53 pm

dongregg wrote:Discussion area for Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 4

“You mean like a bear can talk?” she asks, encountering a children's tale for the first time since the infection cut her childhood short.

Part 4 is being moderated. :D

Looking forward to the final, highly-polished version. (Nice teaser. :D )
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby metoo » Sat Feb 06, 2016 7:58 am

Racquetball? What's that?

I googled it - apparently similar to squash, which I have heard of but never played.

I think Mr Ávila would have had a very hard time finding a racquetball court in Sweden. Apparently there is one in Kista in the Stockholm area, but that seems to be about the only one.

There seems to be a Swedish Racquetball Federation, based in Kista. Alas their website is unaccessible, so I guess the club might have perished as well. No hits on Google either, apart from the reference above.

The size of the Swedish Wikipedia article is telling, too: racquetball vs. squash.

Thus, rather than racquetball Mr Ávila would have played squash, which is quite popular in Sweden. Or tennis, which also is popular in Sweden, and was even more so in the seventies and eighties, thanks to Björn Borg, Mats Wilander, Stefan Edberg, and others. There are plenty of tennis halls in Sweden, and outdoor courts as well.

BTW, here's a link to the story: http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... art-part-4
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby dongregg » Sat Feb 06, 2016 3:32 pm

metoo wrote:Racquetball? What's that?

The Swedish Racquetball Federation (founded 1980) was active during the time of our story and is still active (see below). That there was a court in Kista doesn't mean it was the only court. (Lack of evidence is not evidence of lack.) It's a wonderful game, very fast (like the kids). I recommend that every reader of this tale find a court and watch it played. Or Google the dates of a tournament site in Europe, which I did:

http://www.european-racquetball.org/events-3/euro-tour/

The following will come up. (Then click on the News tab. Europe is jumpin'.)

Currently the following tournaments are part of the European Racquetball Tour:

01. Hamburg Open (GERMANY) September
02. Dutch Open (NETHERLANDS) October
03. Belgian Open (BELGIUM) November
04. Catalonia Open (Catalonia/SPAIN) December
05. French Open (FRANCE) January
06. Turkey Open (TURKEY) February
07. Castelbar Open (IRELAND) March
08. Italian Open (ITALY) March
09. German Open (GERMANY) April
10. Irish Open (IRELAND) May

It is expected that a tournament in England as well as Sweden may be added to the tour in the coming months or year(s).There are more tournaments held, especially in Ireland and Germany.

As for a shot that achieves a significant fraction of Mach 1, the fastest serve measured on radar was 191 mph. Add vampire strength and do the math. Eli's shot to Mr. Smart Mouth Oskar's chest would have gotten his attention. :shock:

Since parts 3 and 4 (and part 5, coming soon) all take place in Malmö, I'm still looking for confirmation about what I got right. :)
Last edited by dongregg on Sun Feb 07, 2016 1:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby PeteMork » Sat Feb 06, 2016 4:31 pm

dongregg wrote:
metoo wrote:Racquetball? What's that?

For purposes of our tale, racquetball will have to rest on the assumption that the Swedish Racquetball Federation was active during the time of our story and that Kista was not the only court available in Sweden. It's a wonderful game, very fast (like the kids). I recommend that every reader of this tale find a court and watch it played. Or Google the dates of a tournament site in Europe.

As for a shot that achieves a significant fraction of Mach 1, the fastest serve measured on radar was 191 mph. Add vampire strength and do the math. Eli's shot to Mr. Smart Mouth Oskar's chest would have got his attention. :shock:

Since part 4 (and part 5, coming soon) all take place in Malmö, I'm still looking for confirmation about what I got right. :)


Very fast indeed. I remember the first time I played, I had the distinct feeling I was playing ping-pong standing right on (half) a giant ping-pong table. :D

(With the ball speed scaled up to match the size) :shock:

We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby PeteMork » Sat Feb 06, 2016 4:45 pm

I really like this exchange:

"You're afraid of thunder?"

"No, Mr. Ávila, the storm.”

“I’m sorry, little one. Do storms always scare you?”

“I don’t remember. I don’t think so. Not until I started living in the forest.”

Which was more than 200 years ago, Mr. Ávila thinks. I'll have to be more careful about using the word "always."
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby dongregg » Sat Feb 06, 2016 5:46 pm

Very fast indeed. I remember the first time I played, I had the distinct feeling I was playing ping-pong standing right on (half) a giant ping-pong table. :D
(With the ball speed scaled up to match the size) :shock:

Thanks, PeteMork. A picture really is worth a thousand words!
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby intrige » Sat Feb 06, 2016 6:09 pm

I can see you put a lot of work in this, and it does come from a good place. But you rush your way through it. Most of the time I don't know what stuff looks like, the dialogue is rushed and stopped too early just to move the story along. And descriptions of things happening are short, descriptions of expressions and ways of saying things are short. Everything is too short!! :o :?

THIS IS SUCH A SWEET STORY, YOU HAVE GOT TO WORK HARDER ON THIS. Please describe things, take your time, fall into the letters and let them soak you for a while as you write. Take your time, describe everything as if you were there. You ar writing as someone telling a fairy-tale. You only say what you have to say, nothing more, nothing less. But a written down story needs so much more than that. You have a sceleton, the story needs meat. Flesh it out. :o

Oh and please add more romantic moments between Oskar and Eli. 8-)
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby metoo » Sat Feb 06, 2016 7:49 pm

dongregg wrote:
metoo wrote:Racquetball? What's that?

For purposes of our tale, racquetball will have to rest on the assumption that the Swedish Racquetball Federation was active during the time of our story and that Kista was not the only court available in Sweden.

Well, if your ambition is a Swedish setting for your story, this assumption makes you less successful than you could have been. :roll:
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Re: Set Me as a Seal Part 4

Postby dongregg » Sat Feb 06, 2016 8:26 pm

intrige wrote:...THIS IS SUCH A SWEET STORY, YOU HAVE GOT TO WORK HARDER ON THIS. Please describe things, take your time...describe everything as if you were there...Oh and please add more romantic moments between Oskar and Eli. 8-)

I always appreciate your honest comments, Trige. As for the romantic moments between Oskar and Eli, do you remember what happened in part 1? Oskar has been on good behavior since then, but he has many characteristics of a 12-year-old boy. What do you think might happen in part 5 when a very pretty young actress starts flirting with him? You'll be able to read all about it in a few weeks! :o
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