Set Me as a Seal Part 2

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dongregg
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Set Me as a Seal Part 2

Post by dongregg » Fri Aug 21, 2015 9:39 pm

Discussion area for "Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2"

Leaving the store with her two big shopping bags, she thinks – "That felt better than those little stores in Örebro. I don't feel like everybody's watching me."

But they are.


http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... art-part-2
Last edited by dongregg on Tue Mar 27, 2018 9:13 pm, edited 13 times in total.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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Drakeule
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by Drakeule » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:29 pm

Aww you tease :lol: I was looking forward to reading it.

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Mishrashade48
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by Mishrashade48 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:36 pm

Great, now we have nothing to do, CURSES!! :D
All of life's journeys come with meetings, partings, and reunions.

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epicfan84
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by epicfan84 » Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:27 am

Oh my... It's finally here...
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metoo
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by metoo » Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:47 am

dongregg wrote:Not yet moderated. Wait for it!
In case you didn't know this already, dongregg: For a quicker moderation you should PM Wolfchild about new fan fiction submissions. There is no automatic notification system telling him this.

Furthermore, you can publish a link to new fan fiction in a forum posting even if the piece has not yet passed moderation. The link will start working as soon as the piece has been accepted by the moderators.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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dongregg
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by dongregg » Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:50 am

metoo wrote:
dongregg wrote:Not yet moderated. Wait for it!
In case you didn't know this already, dongregg: For a quicker moderation you should PM Wolfchild about new fan fiction submissions. There is no automatic notification system telling him this.

Furthermore, you can publish a link to new fan fiction in a forum posting even if the piece has not yet passed moderation. The link will start working as soon as the piece has been accepted by the moderators.
Thanks!
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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metoo
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by metoo » Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:22 am

Part 2 is available now:
http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... art-part-2

I have a few, well, let's call them observations. ;-)

First, there was no bridge between Sweden and Denmark in the early 1980s. The bridge was planned, designed and constructed in the 1990s, and opened for traffic in 2000.
Wikipedia article about the bridge.

Second, there was no university in Örebro in the early 1980s. There was, however, a higher education institution, which later (in 1999) would become Örebro University.
http://www.oru.se/English/About-the-University/History/

Third, Swedish universities don't have laundry facilities. That said, student housings do, so it's still not too far from reality. But how would Oskar know anything about the practicalities of student life?

Fourth. Swedish police don't issue rewards for information. Others, such as insurance companies, may do so, however. That said, the police sometimes pays informants, but in those cases the payments are secret, and not published.

Fifth. Stockholm Daily? FYI, the acronym SD these days denotes Sverigedemokraterna, Sweden Democrats, a right-wing political party which is most known for promoting xenophobia.
Here's a Wikipedia article listing Swedish newspapers.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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dongregg
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by dongregg » Sat Aug 22, 2015 2:21 pm

Ha ha! I meant DN, Dagens Nyheter. Press conference or press release would be better though because it would include TV.

All good stuff, metoo.

As with your invaluable comments about part 1, these points will require rewrite, so I would be forever in your debt if you would share any other particulars about the 1980s.
Last edited by dongregg on Sat Aug 22, 2015 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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metoo
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by metoo » Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:50 pm

About rewriting, of course you will have to change the part about the Öresund bridge (if you want to stay true to the real Sweden of the early 1980s, that is). Before the bridge, there were ferries between Malmoe and Copenhagen – slower car ferries and faster hydroplanes for passengers only. The slower ferries would cross in about 50 minutes, the faster ones in half that time. The larger car ferries featured restaurants, where you could have Danish smørrebrød, as well as other dishes. The faster ferries were hydroplanes. It was quite exhilarating to stand outside on the small deck at the stern when they revved up the engines right outside the harbour, and the entire ship lifted on those hydroplanes.
Image

Regarding the police wanting information about the girl, they would just arrange a press conference and say so. Then this would be news in all newspapers the next day (and on TV the same night). No awards, though.

If you have any specific questions about other stuff, dongregg, feel free to ask!
Last edited by metoo on Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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dongregg
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Re: Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 2

Post by dongregg » Sat Aug 22, 2015 7:54 pm

Done. Minimal tweaking got the story more in line with 1983 Sweden.

What the story is about: Oskar and Eli get back to Blackeberg easily enough, but issues make it more complicated for them to leave. Mainly, they realize (at least intuitively) that the relationship got off track in Örebro because of their increasing isolation. Let's call it cabin fever. They know Blackeberg is about the most dangerous place they could be, but they don't want to just go back to hiding and skulking. Eli optimistically buys new clothes for them, and they plan to bathe daily, but these will only benefit them if they can find a safe and stable place to operate from. The police would like to talk to Eli about a death in Vällingby, and Oskar looks like he did in the original photos from before. As the net draws tighter around them, a solution comes from and unexpected source.
Last edited by dongregg on Sun Aug 23, 2015 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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