Set Me as a Seal Part 1

A forum for discussing fan fiction related to Let The Right One In
Post Reply
User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Set Me as a Seal Part 1

Post by dongregg » Wed Jun 10, 2015 9:50 pm

Discussion area for "Set Me as a Seal upon Your Heart Part 1"

"Eli stirs as she wakes. She reaches over to lay her arm across Oskar's body, but she finds an empty space on the pallet where Oskar should be...Oskar is gone."

http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... art-part-1
Last edited by dongregg on Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:10 am, edited 9 times in total.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by dongregg » Sat Jun 13, 2015 3:33 am

This story is based on the film, with a nod to LTODD. It takes place about a year and a half after Oskar and Eli get off the train in Karlstad.

The story describes a journey, but from where and to where, really? It could be a journey from Örebro to Blackeberg. But is it?
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
PeteMork
Posts: 3781
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:56 pm
Location: Menlo Park, California

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by PeteMork » Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:51 am

dongregg wrote:Discussion area for "Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart"

The only way I know to get to the story is the URL below, but that isn't where we are supposed to go. I have to find out more about the mysterious world of Fan Fiction before this settles down to become a normal submission. But it has been moderated and posted. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do next. :think:
You're supposed to sit back and read all the rave reviews that will come next.

(It looks more official now that it's been posted, doesn't it? ;) )
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by dongregg » Sat Jun 13, 2015 5:13 am

Yes, it takes on a new aura now that it's out there for everyone to read.

It would not be the story it is without a lot of help from you and GK. :wub:

(Er...We're not really done with it. It's finished, yes, but you and GK are both using it to teach me the tricks of the trade, so...)
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
metoo
Posts: 3677
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:36 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by metoo » Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:51 am

"The first sign of twilight alerts Oskar that only an hour of darkness remains."

For people not living at the latitudes of Sweden, which accounts for almost everybody on this planet, it's probably hard to understand what consequences a position far to the north would have for daylight. But the reality is that not only are nights short in spring and summer, they are also very bright. The summer night sky is never dark enough for stars to be visible around midsummer. You don't need vampire vision to see well in Swedish summer nights.

Here is a link that produces a table of sunrise and sunset around Örebro in May 1981. Edit the URL to get other places and times.

As you can see, in May 1, the sun rose at five in the morning, and set close to nine in the evening. However, that's only when the sun appeared and disappeared. If you check the columns showing the twilight time, you'll find that astronomical twilight is considered to cover the entire night, while nautical twilight covers most of the night but three hours around midnight. Et cetera.

Here's an article explaining the three kinds of twilight (to photographers).

So, the first sign of twilight would have been between sunset (!) and 4 am, depending of definition. I have experienced entire nights outdoors many times, and I have watched the first tint of dark blue at the horizon more than once. This happens well before sunrise, several hours earlier, actually. And it's not only about light. In May, the birds wake up well before daybreak, and the sound of birdsong is overwhelming. This would be a major part of Oskar's experience. (Later, during the day, the birds probably get busy feeding their chicks, because the birdsong noise becomes a lot less pronounced.)
Last edited by metoo on Sat Jun 13, 2015 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by dongregg » Sat Jun 13, 2015 2:25 pm

Thanks, metoo. Big changes coming for this story, not only for of Oscar's journey, but also for Eli at both ends of her journey, now that I know what astronomical twilight means.

The changes will include Oskar using his watch more and Eli depending on her innate sense of dawn and dusk. The biggest change is of course in how bright the whole night is. I hate to lose the great cliché, "cloak of darkness," though. But all of the many mood-setting descriptions that invoke darkness will have to change and be replaced by the experience of brightness.

Sunrise and sunsets are okay in the story, but a related change will be how I talk about the moon. The phases and dates in the story are accurate, but moonlight (or the lack of) is irrelevant given that astronomical twilight is all night. I was hoping that someone would use the moon phases to figure out the dates -- three nights: May 5-7, 1983. Third quarter (i.e., waning) May 5; New May 12.

You have painted a really lovely experience of night in Sweden, with the birds singing their little hearts out and all, like Chaucer's description of spring in merry old England:

And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye...

I hope I can do it justice in the rewrite!

Oh, and bear in mind that this tale is based on the film. Even Håkan is fair game as a reference because we know his name from the film credits as well as from movie reviews.

Here are URLs for the sun and moon in 1983:

http://www.timeanddate.com/sun/sweden/o ... &year=1983

http://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/ ... ?year=1983

Any additional information you have can only add to the verisimilitude of the story.

Thanks again.
Last edited by dongregg on Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
metoo
Posts: 3677
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:36 pm
Location: Sweden

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by metoo » Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:29 pm

dongregg wrote:[...]The changes will include Oskar using his watch more and Eli depending on her innate sense of dawn and dusk. The biggest change is of course in how bright the whole night is. I hate to lose the great cliché, "cloak of darkness," though. But all of the many mood-setting descriptions that invoke darkness will have to change and be replaced by the experience of brightness.[...]
Well, although the period of pitch black darkness is short in May in Sweden, the light still is dim enough to hamper normal human vision most of the time. Especially today, when people use artificial lights, such as car headlights, whenever it's somewhat dark. The spot of artificial light makes the rest of the surrounding appear darker, and Oskar would be able to use that. Additionally, people tend to sleep at night, even in Sweden, so Oskar would still be able to feel quite safe at nighttime.

The novel is quite detailed about the night vision of Eliform vampires. This is left out of the film, but for one hint: The gleam in Eli's eyes in the basement scene, before Oskar turns the lights on. Thus, we may assume that also film Eli would have good night vision. This would influence Oskar's experience of the night. If you clearly see what's around you, there's much less need to worry. Especially when you know that the only scary thing around is yourself...

An idea that popped up in my head is that Oskar perhaps would dislike the sound of birdsong, because it announces dawn. Maybe he would even feel threatened by it. It's quite strong just before daybreak in May.

I found a video on YouTube that might give an impression of what its like. It's recorded in Stralsund in northern Germany, but a Swedish forest would sound similarly. Put on headphones! (There's some background noise as well in this recording, imagine that away...)
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by dongregg » Mon Jun 15, 2015 2:42 am

Good video, metoo. The little birdies found their way into the story. Too charming to leave out. You'll see other of your observations and suggestions in the edits I posted a little while ago.

There's a curious thing about the story. It originally had Eli as a boy, as in the "One-off Vignette." That worked really well. I think it added a tender aspect to the story. But it was to say the least confusing to some. Was it book Eli or film Eli? I changed Eli back to a film-Eli type girl. I must say, it was a joy writing it both ways. Good feels either way.

Please keep your info about Sweden flowing. Can't beat reports from an on-ground observer!
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

User avatar
PeteMork
Posts: 3781
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:56 pm
Location: Menlo Park, California

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by PeteMork » Wed Jun 17, 2015 6:53 pm

I like your little tale because it realistically shows the inherently immature thinking of a 12-year-old boy; one who has led a relatively sheltered life and has been thrust, albeit willingly, into a completely alien world, where all his self-doubts and unrealistic expectations would toss him about like a leaf in a stiff breeze. But still my first inclination was to be angry at him for the calloused way in which he left our dear Eli all alone.

And this anger is exacerbated by your portrayal of Eli as a poor ‘innocent’ victim of his callousness. Eli’s ability to pick herself up and do what in her heart she knows to be right -- namely to protect Oskar from himself -- makes her all the more endearing – especially when all her hard work pays off in the end. :wub:

One question: Why didn’t Oskar simply fly home? It would have saved him a lot of time. :D (You know I had to bring this up, based on my own FF)

(And your little tale would be even shorter) ;)
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

User avatar
dongregg
Posts: 3937
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:58 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Set Me As a Seal upon Your Heart

Post by dongregg » Wed Jun 17, 2015 7:24 pm

PeteMork wrote:...But still my first inclination was to be angry at him for the calloused way in which he left our dear Eli all alone.;)
I know, right? I was so upset at Oskar after I wrote the scene of Eli crying her little heart out that I didn't think I could write anymore of the story!
PeteMork wrote:...Eli’s ability to pick herself up and do what in her heart she knows to be right -- namely to protect Oskar from himself -- makes her all the more endearing. :wub:
That's our dear little Eli. :wub:
PeteMork wrote:...One question: Why didn’t Oskar simply fly home? It would have saved him a lot of time. :D (You know I had to bring this up, based on my own FF)
Ever try to flap your wings while carrying a 25 kilo backpack in your teeth? (Basing this on Daniel Ether's wonderful drawings.) Anyway, Eli and Oskar are creatures of the night, earthy, seeking to be part of the shadows, not silhouetted against a bright Swedish twilight sky. Flying is fun, but not all that practical. Well, maybe in a pinch, like if you have to smash into someone's windshield to keep Eli from being run over. But how often does that happen?
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

Post Reply

Return to “Fan Fiction”