Kristina

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Clubmeister
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Re: Kristina

Post by Clubmeister » Sun Jul 06, 2014 11:36 pm

Rather plausible story. All could happen this way easily.
This Kristina surely insane a little. One moment she wants "... to draw my fingers though his hair and comfort him..." and in the same time she classifies Elias to the company of those who need to break their necks.
He is looking at me, silently, expectantly, in the near-dark room, neither smiling nor frowning; gaunt as a Belsen child, proud as the Devil, distant and beautiful as a star. [DMt.]

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gkmoberg1
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Re: Kristina

Post by gkmoberg1 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:23 am

Thank you Clubby!

...

:twisted:

The paragraph from where you took that line is the first clue that this woman, Katrina, is not very nice. Indeed she's wicked, which we fully learn by the end of the story. But this paragraph is the first hint that she is not a good person for Elias to be associated with.
  • "Are there many of us?" it asked. So innocent. If I had a heart that could melt, it would have. Here was a child in the same form of life as me – and apparently without a guide. Based on the outline, the voice, the posture and the movements, I could tell it was a boy. I wanted to draw my fingers though his hair and comfort him. I wanted to soothe him and tell him know he could be safe. With me he would be secure. And as well I wanted more: to wrestle him to the ground and claim him as mine.
The first clue is the 'if' in 'If I had a heart that could melt, it would have'. You can take from this that she does not have a heart that could melt. This is to suggest that she is not caring and is not compassionate.

"I wanted to draw my fingers though his hair and comfort him. I wanted to soothe him and tell him know he could be safe. With me he would be secure." All of this is the lie that she wants to tell the child. She wants to fool the boy into thinking these things: that she will soothe him and that he would be secure and safe with her. The truth is the final part: "And as well I wanted more: to wrestle him to the ground and claim him as mine". This reveals her true real ambition, which is to capture the boy. And what she would do to him is just as you said, to break his neck.

So even though Elias would not know her plan, it is a very good for him that he chose to run away!

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dongregg
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Re: Kristina

Post by dongregg » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:08 am

gkmoberg1 wrote:...My founding idea for Katrina was in pondering how the little scene that Elias describes could have happened. How did he encounter another in such manner that he was able to escape? And how would the encounter have started? The novel, other than by the ease that Haaken finds Elias in the basement, does not tell of any 'radar' ability. So, how would Elias have found this woman? Or, conversely, how would she have found him? I came to decide it had been by accident, and that Elias had both initiated and terminated the encounter on his own. Yet, give his small size, it would have been in a setting wherein he could somehow have the 'upper hand' in being to both initiate and terminate things, plus even have the bravery to feel confident in approaching the woman to begin with. And so I invited the entire scene wherein Elias is able to make a 'safe' approach and then manages a 'good enough' exit. The rest, of course, then was sheer invention.
And what a good job you did of it. Two things, though: You have created a world that we were able to enter into--to see, hear, and smell. And you have created a remarkable character in Kristina, one who is worth more of your "sheer invention." Is it possible that Kristina could stride the darkening streets in more adventures?
Last edited by dongregg on Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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gkmoberg1
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Re: Kristina

Post by gkmoberg1 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:38 am

Hmmm, I suppose so. But that would be a second story.

Thank you for the kind comments.

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dongregg
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Re: Kristina

Post by dongregg » Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:10 am

gkmoberg1 wrote:Hmmm, I suppose so. But that would be a second story.

Thank you for the kind comments.
Indeed, yes, that's what I'm rooting for, a separate story. You developed Kristina so well that she could carry her own weight in the story without LTROI lurking in the background. As it stands, she is a scary but possibly somewhat sympathetic character in that she at least has concepts of kindness, even though she doesn't feel any kindness. Plus she is automatically somewhat sympathetic because of the way she was victimized. And, you bring sufficient research and imagination to the setting so that I feel I am there in the scenes with Kristina.

That's what I think, but I also think that stories have to kind of bubble up in a writer. If nothing does, then this jewel of a tale will just have to do, and I thank you again for it.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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Re: Kristina

Post by Child_Of_The_Corn » Sun Aug 03, 2014 6:33 pm

Thank you gkmoberg1 for this fine tale. A thought struck me as I was reading this was as the host feeds the infection, the infection also feeds our baser negative emotions such as anger, fear, resentment, vengeance as in the case of Kristina.. magnifying them. So the infected either loose hope or are too reckless in their hunting that they do not survive long. Hence, "We are so few, so terribly few." As we grow older I think we loose that purity of the soul that we had as a child. With experience we come to see the world with more jaded eyes. Of course I'm generalizing but I believe there could be truth in that. Rare cases such as we see in Eli, we know that he was raised in a loving family and still had that childlike innocence and purity of soul that he could fight back the infection.. as much as he is able.. and not succumb like the others.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. Only I will remain.”

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gkmoberg1
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Re: Kristina

Post by gkmoberg1 » Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:51 am

Wow, you're welcome.

I had not considered this idea you propose (that "the infection also feeds our baser negative emotions such as anger, fear, resentment, vengeance"). It makes sense and it fits the purposes of this story, but I'd not thought of it. Doh. Rather, I see the infection as how I interpret Virginia's description, which I don't see as feeding her base emotions but projecting base intentions at her.

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broken1
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Re: Kristina

Post by broken1 » Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:05 am

GK,
Ridiculously good. Stellar in fact. To take a somewhat 'fleeting' moment in the novel and flesh it out the way you did is remarkable. I can't decide whether I'm more impressed with the backstory, which is flippin' great, or the fact that you incorporated the actual novel dialogue into the story (seamlessly to boot), or that you did all of it all in a fairly short narrative.

Wow. There is so much good writing here. I wonder if JAL reads some of these and says to himself, "To hell with it, they're doing a damn fine job without me. Can't wait 'til the next one."

SS
"The only thing we'll have to fear, is the dawn as the night turns to day..."
-----"Stay" by Jeremey Hunsicker

"An open mind and an open heart are at once both the strongest and weakest qualities a person can have."
- Me

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gkmoberg1
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Re: Kristina

Post by gkmoberg1 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:19 am

I do hope JAL stops by and reads the fanfics and checks out the vids and drawings. For a writer (well, any artist) what nicer compliment could be imagined than to see such creativity being launched as a result? I think it'd be a rather stupefying experience!

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broken1
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Re: Kristina

Post by broken1 » Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:36 am

Well its not like TA or MR can, or could have rather, even attempted a sequel. Lina 'was' Eli, just as Chloe 'was' Abby. Thats how good they were in their performance, to me at least. And they, well, got older. And there isn't any getting around that, is there? 11/12 yr old Lina 'is' Eli, 11/12 old Chloe 'is' Abby.
"The only thing we'll have to fear, is the dawn as the night turns to day..."
-----"Stay" by Jeremey Hunsicker

"An open mind and an open heart are at once both the strongest and weakest qualities a person can have."
- Me

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