Gaze from above

[intrige]

An english Let the right one in Fan-fiction, inspired by the book by the same name, written by John Ajvide Lindqvist. Following two of the book's characters: Oskar and Eli. This I am making to: 1. Explore with a sight outside their minds, or anyones with that matter. and: 2. To explore Eli as a character much darker and Oskar's change as something more beautiful and enjoyable, compared to other Fan-fiction I have both written and read online. With one simple sentence, that I hopefully will manage to bring out written in a far more poetic way than ever before.
- Eli does not think it is wrong to kill, but thinks it's wrong to kill Oskar. (Do you remember who said that? Here on the forum, only a few days ago) ;D

Their story starts where the last one ended, at the pool, traveling from Karlstad to somewhere else. Where seemengly both of them became reborn. A lovely but sinister travel though time as forever children. I hope I will bake the best out of this.

Read it in the FF/FA section of the forum, here: http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... gaze-above
I have also put it out there on my writingblog! Along with this lovely picture I found online. Here is the link: http://intrigewrites.blogg.no/135312048 ... above.html Hope you all like it. I am not too sure where this FF will lead, but I will continue. Right now I am doing that so very fast. but it will possibly turn slower over time.
So.. Tell me what you think people?

[PeteMork]

Great start, Intrige. Your English gets better every time you write something new. Did you write this in Norwegian first, then translate, or did you start out in English? Your imagery is very effective, and the Point-of-View narration is very different from your old style. I can tell you've put a lot of work into this one. I like it.

[intrige]

Thanks petemork! I wanted to explore this, as I wrote at the intro. I wanted to make it different, and take advatnedge of the english laguige as much as possible. To the level I can manage of course. I am actually continuing now already.
I write it in english, no transelation, and no helping from other forum member like I usually do. For bloody romantic, Jonjon, gkmoberg, Tjippi and I think maybe even ingenting-ing has helped me out. Correcting my grammer or miss-spellings. I am actually very proud to say that I wrote this all on my own, and am pleased with it.

[Wolfchild]

Great start, Intrige. Your English gets better every time you write something new. Did you write this in Norwegian first, then translate, or did you start out in English? Your imagery is very effective, and the Point-of-View narration is very different from your old style. I can tell you've put a lot of work into this one. I like it.

This.

Moreover, your writing is beginning to embrace complex and sophisticated techniques. Even if your Infection were to end tomorrow and you went on to write about other things, I would still be interested in reading it.

[intrige]

Thank you wolfie, your kind words means a lot

[Clubmeister]

Nice story. Most of all I like that they have eaten the greedy driver. If he would have said something like: "Oh, poor children, I'll take you along for free" he woud had a chance. Maybe...

[intrige]

Well yeh, that was sort of what I had in mind. Greedy, he probably didn't earn much by being a driver.
Thanks

[EEA]

Cool story. Nice beginning. The story feels different from the other stories you have written. If I had been the truck rider I would have been like give me 8000 kronor. Or else no ride.

[Clubmeister]

Cool story. Nice beginning. The story feels different from the other stories you have written. If I had been the truck rider I would have been like give me 8000 kronor. Or else no ride.

I think, with such price you would risked to be eaten even before the ride.
I think, E&O even woudn't strain themselves to load their things.

[intrige]

It's a good reason for them to not kill him at the very start. They needed a driver, travel out of sight. No trains or taxies, besides. A ride that long with either taxi or train would probably cost more than 4000 kr anyway. Hehe.

I am strugelig with ch 2, within next week it will maybe be up. I have some writing homework, which is a bit more important!