Blackeberg 1981

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metoo
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Blackeberg 1981

Post by metoo » Wed May 16, 2012 6:30 pm

I've finally decided to submit a fan fiction I've been working on for a while. It's a new text, but uses the same plot as one that I submitted last year, as the opening chapter of my attempt to write a darker series of ff.

I like this one better, and I think this will be my last say on what happened on the night of November 12.

As always, there is a Swedish original and as well as an English translation.

This text explores a few facts and the questions they raise:
  • The train trip Stockholm - Karlstad takes about 3 hours. For Oskar to arrive after sunset, he has to start at noon. Why didn't they start earlier?
  • Oskar's luggage on the train was composed of a huge trunk and two cardboard boxes. Supposedly the cardboard boxes were Eli's boxes that Oskar carried down to the basement storage room. Oskar and Eli would have to pass by the storage room to pick them up.
Last edited by metoo on Mon May 21, 2012 8:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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gkmoberg1
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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by gkmoberg1 » Wed May 16, 2012 10:16 pm

Perhaps you can help with a confusion I've had about this. Could Eli & Oskar have taken this train to Karlstad directly from Blackeberg? Or would they have to take transport first to Stockholm and then board the train? Or perhaps there is/was a stop coming out of Stockholm where they could have met the train? I am curious. The answer may help explain the late departure time, although it may have been intentional so that Oskar would have Eli's assistance when exiting the train in Karlstad. The risk, though, would be Oskar's lengthened presence at the station awaiting the train with Eli helpless, pinned by the daytime sunlight, within the large trunk.

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metoo
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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by metoo » Thu May 17, 2012 3:55 am

gkmoberg1 wrote:Perhaps you can help with a confusion I've had about this. Could Eli & Oskar have taken this train to Karlstad directly from Blackeberg? Or would they have to take transport first to Stockholm and then board the train? Or perhaps there is/was a stop coming out of Stockholm where they could have met the train? I am curious. The answer may help explain the late departure time, although it may have been intentional so that Oskar would have Eli's assistance when exiting the train in Karlstad. The risk, though, would be Oskar's lengthened presence at the station awaiting the train with Eli helpless, pinned by the daytime sunlight, within the large trunk.

Blackeberg is part of Greater Stockholm, it's a suburb, not a separate town. Oskar would have had to go by underground from Blackeberg to downtown Stockholm, a trip of half an hour. The Underground Central (T-Centralen) in Stockholm is connected to the railway Central Station by a pedestrian tunnel. All in all it might take as much as an hour to go from Oskar's home in Blackeberg to Stockholm Central.

The train from Stockholm to Karlstad passes Södertälje, a town south of Stockholm and the lake Mälaren. Blackeberg is to the north of Mälaren, thus the closest station for Oskar to catch the train would be Stockholm Central.

Oskar and Eli could have gone to Oskar's home to fetch the cardboard boxes, and then further on to some other place where they spent the night. Or they could have spent the night somewhere else, and Oskar could have gone home to fetch the boxes before continuing. Or they could have waited for the train at the Central Station all night and morning, just to catch that train. But Oskar being on the train would necessarily mean he started the trip at noon.

Actually, there were no direct trains (as prescribed by the novel) between Stockholm and Karlstad that started at noon in 1981. There were just two departures, one at 7 am, arriving in Karlstad at 10.13, and one in the evening at 4 pm arriving at 7 pm. So the novel train trip is fictional, but possible. However, a train trip starting in the morning and arriving after dusk would be impossible, the distance is too short.

There is a hint in the novel that Oskar had deliberately chosen that trip, in order to arrive after sunset. But then the question arises why Oskar and Eli went to Karlstad at all, since plenty of other destinations would have been less problematic. If they had chosen to go to northern Sweden, they could have caught a train already in the night of November 12, and arrived well before sunrise to someplace far away.

There is a clue to the choice of Karlstad: Håkan originally was from Karlstad, and might have left something there that Eli wanted, or he might have told Eli something that made Eli want to go there. But what would that be? Nothing that I can think of. My conclusion is that the connection is coincidental. Maybe John just liked the place, and had forgotten about Håkan's origins when writing the epilogue.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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EEA
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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by EEA » Thu May 17, 2012 8:21 pm

I like this story too. I also wonder what had happened between that time until Eli and Oskar left together.

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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by Clubmeister » Thu May 17, 2012 8:44 pm

EEA wrote:I like this story too. I also wonder what had happened between that time until Eli and Oskar left together.
Yes, a very plausible description of the events.
He is looking at me, silently, expectantly, in the near-dark room, neither smiling nor frowning; gaunt as a Belsen child, proud as the Devil, distant and beautiful as a star. [DMt.]

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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by intrige » Thu May 17, 2012 9:11 pm

You amaze me metoo, you know that? The plot is so well thought out, the feelings and actions so ralistic. You could almost have been JAL, you think things though and you make it sound like a real story. I ahve always loved your storied, dropped dead and bowed before them ever since you wrote abour Oskar and Eli at the beach, making a sand caste where child vampires lived. You remember? Well, you impress me now also, and I am so happy you're back. I have missed these amusing little tales of yours. :) Welcome back, and let's hope you sat :)
Bulleri bulleri buck, hur många horn står upp

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metoo
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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by metoo » Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:25 pm

In the light of the this posting by Sauvin in a different thread, I've added some lines to this text. To show what stuff is new, I've copied it below with some surrounding paragraphs. The new stuff is shown in green.

As always, there is a Swedish original and as well as an English translation.

Oskar had the key to the padlock with him, he had fastened it to his key ring when he had carried Elis boxes down. He unlocked the lock, entered, and sank onto the floor, sat down with his head hanging. Eli looked at him, asked:
“Aren’t you going home? To your mother?”
Oskar shook his head slowly, without looking up.
Eli watched Oskar a few moments, sucking his lip, thoughtful. Then he quietly closed the door to the storage room and sat down next to Oskar, put an arm behind Oskar's back and pulled him close. Oskar leaned against Eli, trembled.
He had desperately tried to hold on, struggled to remain somebody, balancing on an increasingly narrow edge as his life collapsed around him. But now he couldn’t cope anymore. He gave up, let go and let himself fall, down towards the bottomless despair that lay brooding far down there, black, terrifying and calm like the water in an old mine shaft.
Oskar wept a long time, there was infinitely much to cry about. But eventually the tears stopped flowing, and sleep swept him away, from the worst day, the next to last day of his life.
Last edited by metoo on Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by gkmoberg1 » Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:09 am

I read this and didn't get it the impact of it. But then opened the story and re-read the entire piece, top to bottom.

The addition doesn't necessarily stand out in the revised story but it adds a solid bit of depth for us to Oskar's plight as he perceives his life and the events of the previous weeks, days and now hours. It builds us into the "Oskar wept for a long time" piece because it provides us an understanding of how he views the progression and how all his life is collapsing. Surely the situation, were we able to experience this ourselves as him, would similarly overrun us. Yes, Jimmy and the others are dead and so that avenue of torture is released, but at the moment - this moment of despair, exhaustion and anguish - this a consideration of some out of reach future. In his right-here/right-now anguish, their deaths haven't settled in his mind. He is groping through the fog of all his torments and the very real taste of being assaulted by the boys - an accumulation of all that have been shoveled at him.

So your addition provides the building block that we otherwise assumed in the prior versions. It strengthens the piece well. You don't say outright what all elements are, but the use of metaphor is better. We all know the story, we all know what he's been through and where his heart is.

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metoo
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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by metoo » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:58 am

Yes, the addition is meant to blend in, while still adding an acknowledgement of the idea that Oskar had gradually lost his world. This concept is rather obvious in the novel, so I have wanted to include it all the time. However, it became too strong if added to the morning scene, it would overshadow the joy and hope I wanted to paint there, so I left it out. But Sauvin's mentioning of the concept induced me to make a new attempt, and I realised that I could add it earlier, at the place where it now is. This way, I could keep the mood of the next morning essentially bright, as I think it has to be to fit with Oskar's happiness at the train later.

I think it also adds to the numbness I want to put Oskar in at the end of November 12. He doesn't even seem to realise that Eli is back. I needed a reason why Oskar and Eli didn't leave Blackeberg until the next day, and the strongest one would be that Oskar just wasn't able to.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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metoo
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Re: Blackeberg 1981

Post by metoo » Fri Jun 29, 2012 6:26 pm

I've done another minor edit, and included an idea I got a few days ago.

The Swedish original, and the English translation.

A quote to show what's changed/added:

Friday, November 13, morning

Oskar floated up from his sleep. He had dreamt, it was a nice dream, he had been happy. He wanted to keep the dream, lay very still so as not to chase it away. But then he remembered. The bath house. Eli. The basement. His heart made a hiccup, he opened his eyes wide.
But Eli was still there, just a few inches away Oskar saw Eli's pale face like a reverse shadow in the dark. Eli was laying on his side with one arm as a pillow, studying Oskar, the scarce light gleaming in his eyes. He smiled but said nothing, looked a little uncertain.
Oskar thought about the dream again. And of Eli's question a few days ago, would you like to become like me? Oskar hadn’t been prepared to do it then, but now ... in the dream he had said yes instead, hadn’t he? And Eli had become so happy. A thought struck him: That would be a nice gift, the best he could give: a friend forever. And, after all, it was what he most wanted, to always be with Eli. Oskar could see it before himself, it would be like in his dream. All that other stuff, the things that had scared him so before, they didn’t feel very important anymore. It would be worth it, he would still be happy. Eli would be happy.
At last he had found what he had been searching for the last few days, what he should do but couldn’t find out what it was. He reached for Eli’s free hand, squeezed it and said:

“We shall be together, always.”
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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