little Funny Fictions:)

A forum for discussing fan fiction related to Let The Right One In
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cmfireflies
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by cmfireflies » Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:36 am

Interestingly enough, my point of view in the "Slenderman Stabbing" thread is an obvious consequence of that. I admit that, because of Eli, I can no longer be objective. Or has it allowed me to be completely objective? ;) I now see Eli in all troubled children up into their 'tweens' and sometimes, even beyond. And none of these real-world children's crimes can come close to matching the legions of innocent folks Eli has killed, no matter what the reasons. Would I not be a hypocrite if I couldn't even give them the benefit of the doubt?
It's really interesting how different members here view Eli, even though we're all fans. I never equated Eli's actions with crimes or thought of Eli as immoral. Despite the actions required by her survival, I maintain that Eli is innocent, so I don't think the movie has changed my opinion of criminality or responsibility, although I would gladly live in LtROI's world where a fraction of the senseless violence is due to two kids who love each other very much.

Relatedly, although there's some very talented writers on this forum, I could never get into fics where Eli returns to society. In my future for them, Eli and Oskar are forever on in the shadows, with each other. I think that while Eli would love to have a family, or to get blood via some other means, it's fundamentally incompatible with her long-term survival. I don't trust society to take care of Eli despite what she is. Even if one or two humans sees Eli as the child she is, it can't last. People die, governments fall out of power and I think that if Eli were to ever stop killing for food, there'd come a day where some crazed person with a stake would come to kill her just for being a vampire and the ego trip of killing a "monster." When that day comes, an Eli that isn't used to killing may be just a second slower in defending herself, or think that her survival is not worth another life.

I can't bear the thought of Eli dying because she's too kind to take another life. And I think that Eli would be that kind, if given the chance to live in a normal environment. I'd rather have Eli living a morally ambiguous life than dying as an innocent.

Just wanted to get that off my chest. Not that it has anything to do with anything
"When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it."

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dongregg
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by dongregg » Mon Mar 09, 2015 4:17 am

cmfireflies wrote:...In my future for them, Eli and Oskar are forever on in the shadows, with each other.
LTODD and many fan fics have Oskar and Eli living as vampires. I think it's a rich vein (oh, sorry!), especially in the tales where they have accepted this about themselves and just go on with the dark life that being a vampire implies. Bli mig lite. I love PeteMork's stories of E & O seeking a cure and beginning to live and grow, getting the virus or whatever under control. But I can also embrace the other side -- two vampire kids, forever young, not cruel but very dangerous, living as vampires must. Not without regrets that they must kill, but reconciled to it.

And utterly devoted to one another. "For I have lovèd you so long/Delighting in your company."
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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dongregg
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by dongregg » Fri Jan 22, 2016 3:48 am

Bump.

little Funny Fictions needs some witty contributions. :)
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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ltroifanatic
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by ltroifanatic » Tue Apr 26, 2016 2:12 am

I thought it might be funny if when Eli shows Oskar her sharp deadly dirty teeth he tells her to brush them.After abour 20 minutes of growls and brushing sounds Oskar goes in to investigate and there she is smiling proudly holding the toothbrush.It's nearly bitten through with little indents and bite marks all over it.The bristles completely gone.Oskar giggles and hugs her and loves her even more.He learns a valuable lesson.Don't ask a vampire to brush her teeth. :lol:
Please Oskar.Be me for a little while.

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dongregg
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by dongregg » Tue Apr 26, 2016 2:15 am

ltroifanatic wrote:I thought it might be funny if when Eli shows Oskar her sharp deadly dirty teeth he tells her to brush them.After abour 20 minutes of growls and brushing sounds Oskar goes in to investigate and there she is smiling proudly holding the toothbrush.It's nearly bitten through with little indents and bite marks all over it.The bristles completely gone.Oskar giggles and hugs her and loves her even more.He learns a valuable lesson.Don't ask a vampire to brush her teeth. :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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PeteMork
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by PeteMork » Tue Apr 26, 2016 2:44 am

ltroifanatic wrote:I thought it might be funny if when Eli shows Oskar her sharp deadly dirty teeth he tells her to brush them.After abour 20 minutes of growls and brushing sounds Oskar goes in to investigate and there she is smiling proudly holding the toothbrush.It's nearly bitten through with little indents and bite marks all over it.The bristles completely gone.Oskar giggles and hugs her and loves her even more.He learns a valuable lesson.Don't ask a vampire to brush her teeth. :lol:
Bravo! :twisted:
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

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ltroifanatic
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by ltroifanatic » Wed May 04, 2016 12:58 am

With thanks to all those FF writers who can actually write and Dongregg who inspired me with his love for this beautiful story.. Here's my take on what might happen for the TV series.....................................................................................................................................................The four writers huddled together outside BJ’s office. No one wanted to knock but finally one of them plucked up the courage and did so. From inside they heard the bellowing voice of the studio head. ”Come!” They entered slowly, carefully peeking around the door. With a gesture from his hand, he shouted so loudly that his face turned bright red “Come here!!” They stood in front of his huge desk, all of them quivering. He had their script for the first episode of LTROI the TV series in front of him.BJ sucked on his $200 cigar and poured himself some coffee .He stabbed at the script with a chubby finger “What the hell is this?What the HELL is this?” He ranted over and over again like some weird voodoo mantra. His screams became louder and louder until he was a dribbling, blubbering, purple faced mess. He stood up and threw the coffee into the face of the nearest writer who immediately grabbed his face and ran around the room shrieking. He ran into things, knocking them over until mercifully running into the door and knocking himself out. His leg twitching as he lay there.
As if nothing had happened, BJ sat down, opened up the script and with a red pen started scratching and crossing out things on each page. The pages he felt were unnecessary, he tore out and threw at the three remaining writers. They flinched every time and BJ was pretty sure one of them had wet himself. They all whimpered as BJ’s hand came close to anything that could be a potential missile. Finally, after 30 minutes he was done. He threw the revised script at them. Smirking and thinking himself a genius. ”Do it” he yelled and went to grab a heavy stapler on his desk. The writers ran for their lives script in hand. Two of them grabbed an ankle of their fallen comrade and dragged him to the door. BJ chuckled as they tried to exit the door at the same time. ”Ah! I still got it” he thought.
Two weeks later the studio juggernaut is in full swing. The cast is chosen and the scripts rewritten.BJ sits at his desk alone. He pushes a button and a huge TV screen rises up. Tonight the first promos are being shown. He watches as a woman of impossible proportions, her breasts defying all the laws of physics as they seem to stretch the painted on, skin tight cat suit to its breaking point. She runs through CGI fire as the voice over starts. A snarling, growling whisper “Her childhood cruelly taken, given the curse of the vampire by the Wigman, she escaped but now he wants her back.” A montage of the Wigman is shown; his fangs so long that it impossible for him to speak. Thankfully the actor, an old hand, is schooled in the art of “the wild flailing arms” technique and does the job admirably. The Wigman looks like a cross between an English lawyer and the 65year old transsexual prostitute who hangs around the back of the studio hoping to get lucky. The Wigman commands an army of various demons and monsters who every week try to capture Harmony and Billy (Eli and Oskar sounding far too foreign for BJ). Another montage appears. Harmony's eyes, red and glowing, shooting fireballs at seemingly impossible to stop monsters while little Billy stands behind her cowering. Billy is there purely for comic relief and even has his own catch-phrase. ”I does it wrong Miss Harmony”. The voice over is now sounding practically hysterical. ”Can they do it?.. Will the Wigman have his way? Find out next week on channel 10….Demon Girl only on channel 10.DEMON GIRL” the voice over snarls .BJ finishes his whiskey. He stands up and shouts to an empty room ”I’m a genius. Another hit”. He waddles out tired but feeling like Michael Angelo. ”These 2 hour days are killing me” he thinks
.BJ was right .By the third season ratings were through the roof. It was estimated that a third of the American public watched the show or at least had some sort of merchandise. The show was watched all over the world .Billy’s catch phrase was used by young and old and Harmony’s clothes and perfume line sold out before they even hit the shelves. When, at the end of season three it’s announced that the series would run indefinitely, strange clusters of suicides started to appear all round the world but centred in Sweden and Norway…….
:?:
Please Oskar.Be me for a little while.

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dongregg
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by dongregg » Wed May 04, 2016 2:15 am

Brilliant! Cuts close to what I expect a U.S. TV series to be like. I recall something JAL said when they told him that LTROI was too long and they were cutting it to LMI -- He said he was afraid they might find his name too long and want to cut that too! :lol:

JUST SHOOT ME NOW!!! :(
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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dongregg
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by dongregg » Thu Dec 21, 2017 5:51 am

Time to bump this treasury of yuks and more!
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”

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gkmoberg1
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Re: little Funny Fictions:)

Post by gkmoberg1 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:32 am

dongregg wrote:
Thu Dec 21, 2017 5:51 am
Time to bump this treasury of yuks and more!
Absolutely!
Tigereyes wrote:...
Håkan: I’m not dead!
Tommy: What?
Morgan: Nothing, here’s 9 kronor.
Håkan: I’m not dead!
Tommy: He says he’s not dead.
Morgan: Oh he will be in a moment. He fell ten feet from the hospital window.
Håkan: I’m getting better.
Morgan: No you’re not, ...
:lol: :lol: :wub:

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