My Very First Story - Never Again

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jellmoo
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by jellmoo » Wed May 19, 2010 11:07 pm

drakkar wrote: No, not fear. But Eli very early shows concern for Oskar's struggle with the bullies, and it is this I believe is surfacing again when Eli offers to turn Oskar:
- Oskar. Don't let them. Do you hear me? Don't let them.
- ...no.
- Hit back. You've never hit back, have you?
- No.
- Begin now. Hit back. Hard.
- They are three.
- Then hit harder. Use weapons.
- Yes.
- Stones. Sticks....
...
- But what if they..
- Then I'll help you.
Hmmm... I re-read the scene immediately after Lacke is killed and I can definitely see your point. This requires further though on my part. I am reading it as follows:
"I'm sorry. About starting this."
"No, it's alright."
Silence. For a long time. Then Eli asked, hesitantly.
"Would you want to... become like me?"
The bolded part is where my mind is debating it. Does that period of silence mean Eli is working around how to ask Oskar, or is it a period where the previous line of conversation has sort of ended, and Eli is starting a new one?

I think part of my problem stems from how completely reluctant Eli is in making more Vampires. I'm not sure that I can see her doing it just to help Oskar with bullies.
---
At one point, we have all been both the monster and the victim.
Time will tell for which you will be remembered.

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lombano
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by lombano » Wed May 19, 2010 11:14 pm

jellmoo wrote: I think part of my problem stems from how completely reluctant Eli is in making more Vampires. I'm not sure that I can see her doing it just to help Oskar with bullies.
I agree. If it were just for that, I think Eli would sooner offer to just kill them, despite her reluctance to engage in unnecessary violence.
Bli mig lite.

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cmfireflies
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by cmfireflies » Thu May 20, 2010 3:58 am

jellmoo wrote:"I'm sorry. About starting this."
"No, it's alright."
Silence. For a long time. Then Eli asked, hesitantly.
"Would you want to... become like me?"
That's the favorite part of the book for me. I've always imagined Eli asking in a moment of weakness. She was going to leave and wanted a way for Oskar to come along, but she knows that she shouldn't pass her curse on to anyone, least of all someone she loves. Eli might not even go through with it had Oskar said yes, but she just couldn't bear to not ask.
"When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it."

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sauvin
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by sauvin » Thu May 20, 2010 4:38 am

jellmoo wrote:
DMt. wrote:Oh yeah, definitely, some unicorns and cherubim. Never you mind that Sauvage and Werewolfchild, egging you on into the teeth of inexorable doom... :mrgreen:
All things in moderation... Something nice and sweet to cleanse the soul I think. Maybe some bunnies.

And then... back to the dark side! :twisted:
Dude, I'm serious: mind DMt. Write what's in your heart. You write very VERY well, and if what you write doesn't agree with what I want or see, well, that's just too [deleted] bad. It's my problem, not yours.

Edit: 5 Novembre 2011, replaced a "bad word" with [deleted] to comply with renewed restrictions on language.
Last edited by sauvin on Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Fais tomber les barrières entre nous qui sommes tous des frères

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drakkar
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by drakkar » Thu May 20, 2010 6:08 am

lombano wrote:
jellmoo wrote: I think part of my problem stems from how completely reluctant Eli is in making more Vampires. I'm not sure that I can see her doing it just to help Oskar with bullies.
I agree. If it were just for that, I think Eli would sooner offer to just kill them, despite her reluctance to engage in unnecessary violence.
You might even convince me. However this time it wasn't just to help Oskar with bullies. He could have been killed at the subway platform. And next incident he could have, hadn't it been for Eli. So I still feel it could be more to it than Eli having a weak moment.
For the heart life is simple. It beats as long as it can.
- Karl Ove Knausgård

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jellmoo
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by jellmoo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:30 pm

sauvin wrote:
jellmoo wrote:
DMt. wrote:Oh yeah, definitely, some unicorns and cherubim. Never you mind that Sauvage and Werewolfchild, egging you on into the teeth of inexorable doom... :mrgreen:
All things in moderation... Something nice and sweet to cleanse the soul I think. Maybe some bunnies.

And then... back to the dark side! :twisted:
Dude, I'm serious: mind DMt. Write what's in your heart. You write very VERY well, and if what you write doesn't agree with what I want or see, well, that's just too goddamn bad. It's my problem, not yours.
The beauty of this story (and by this story I mean LTROI) is the sheer amount of material present that can take you in radically different directions. My disadvantage is that my "infection" is brand new. This is all so new and exciting for me. I have a million things going around in my head. I admit to a little trepidation in bringing them forward because of how long others have been around, and do have pangs of thought about everything already having been done.

Hopefully I will find a balance in what I want to do. I started with something incredibly dark, and then went light and fluffy. Hopefully I'll find a voice that I can run with. Until then, it's just a matter of running with inspiration I think. ;)
drakkar wrote: You might even convince me. However this time it wasn't just to help Oskar with bullies. He could have been killed at the subway platform. And next incident he could have, hadn't it been for Eli. So I still feel it could be more to it than Eli having a weak moment.
I think that so much of this is incredibly subjective based on how little the scene flat out says. My read of it is that the talk of what went down with the bullies was more of a side discussion or statement of fact, whereas what had happened in the apartment with Lacke was likely the bulk of their conversation. Same goes for what they intend on doing next.

Damn JAL and his leaving everything open to interpretation!!! :D
---
At one point, we have all been both the monster and the victim.
Time will tell for which you will be remembered.

DMt.

Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by DMt. » Thu May 20, 2010 5:45 pm

Jellmoo wrote:I admit to a little trepidation in bringing them forward because of how long others have been around, and do have pangs of thought about everything already having been done.
With respect, Jellmoo, I don't think that's really the point; all that matters in this FF [to me anyway] is that it's well felt, and fits or even expands the story's parameters. We're working on a borrowed theme anyway, so 'originality' in the usual sense is neither here nor there. Thus I had no qualms about using Lombano's 'pinkish tears' or ACL's blood-sharing, they're part of the story for me now, and when I occasionally see others picking up on [or just arriving at their own take of?] one of my angles, I am very pleased indeed.

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jellmoo
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by jellmoo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:58 pm

DMt. wrote: With respect, Jellmoo, I don't think that's really the point; all that matters in this FF [to me anyway] is that it's well felt, and fits or even expands the story's parameters. We're working on a borrowed theme anyway, so 'originality' in the usual sense is neither here nor there. Thus I had no qualms about using Lombano's 'pinkish tears' or ACL's blood-sharing, they're part of the story for me now, and when I occasionally see others picking up on [or just arriving at their own take of?] one of my angles, I am very pleased indeed.
Oh, that's not quite what I meant. I agree completely with the idea of a sort of collective consciousness in regards to the fan fiction. I think it's done a lot (possibly unintentionally) and serves as great hommage to another work that you enjoyed and/or influenced your own piece. I almost look forward to the day that some fan fiction element becomes so used that I have to stop and think: "Wait... was that actually in the book?"

I was mostly talking about running through an idea that had been done to death. Writing a story that has been already been written and/or discussed on the boards to death. In that regard, I have to push myself a little to "not get hung up on it". Trying to find my voice when I am several months behind most other people is a bit of a challenge. I just don't want to bore people with stuff they are already familiar with. ;)
---
At one point, we have all been both the monster and the victim.
Time will tell for which you will be remembered.

DMt.

Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by DMt. » Thu May 20, 2010 6:00 pm

Man, just obey your Muse, don't get hung up on all that.

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jellmoo
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Re: My Very First Story - Never Again

Post by jellmoo » Thu May 20, 2010 6:03 pm

DMt. wrote:Man, just obey your Muse, don't get hung up on all that.
That's what I try and do! But my Muse is fickle, and demands ice cream!
---
At one point, we have all been both the monster and the victim.
Time will tell for which you will be remembered.

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