Quick Bright Things

A forum for discussing fan fiction related to Let The Right One In
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jayman
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by jayman » Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:37 am

Great Story Kirk, really good writing, I like the realism you brought to it.

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kirkesque
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by kirkesque » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:41 am

stormbringer951 wrote:I liked the story overall. It was well-written and the characterisation was good. It was definitely the higher class of fanfiction (by which I mean there weren't any horrible grammar or spelling mistakes present). On the storyline itself, I like the detail about Oskar leaving while Eli was in hibernation (while coming back later, to be sure), which I could see as totally feasible. I like how their relationship has evolved as Oskar has grown older, particularly the details about how Oskar works in hospitals to easily be able to get blood for Eli. You wrote a bit of a downer ending, but it was quite powerful: the last line sent a tingle through my spine.

tl;dr version: I like it! Please write more.
Thank you for your comments, o black bladed one. Having been writing for nigh on many years, I still occasionally make a grammatical mistake or three, but at this point are more are typos than mangled English.

As for writing more, I have some (non-fan) fiction published on the web and in print anthologies, though sadly, the printed stuff is difficult to come by. I think I posted a link to a Lovecraftian story elsewhere on the forum, and one story I wrote has taken prizes in a Writer's Digest fiction contest, and here in North Carolina, from Press 53 (the story takes place in Sarajevo—1992, so, despite having a bit of hope in the tale, it's certainly not a happy one). I guess the happiest my stories get would be the Southern Gothic novel where a Reverend leads a death cult who end up eating the protagonist at the end. See? I can write happy. The Sunday barbeque was delicious and everyone who wasn't the main course is happy. :twisted:
"Se til helvete å komme dere vekk. Det er ikke en bikkje! Det er en slags TING!
Det imiterer en bikkje. Det er ikke virkelig! Kom dere vekk, IDIOTER!"

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stormbringer951
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by stormbringer951 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:07 pm

kirkesque, do you have a link to your writing that's available on the internet?

Also, you're the first person in a while to catch the Elric reference. I read Moorcock stories, sword and sandal fantasy, when I was around 12-13. I used it as an internet handle in a computer game once and I've just kept the name out of reference, though I do think that Stormbringer is a more interesting character in the story than Elric sometimes (he generally falls into nostalgic anti-hero emo mode throughout most of his stories, when he's not having a Stormbringer-induced combat frenzy).

Anyway, enough thread-jacking. I'd just like to congratulate you on a well-written story and really really hope you write more.

Regards,
Storm
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kirkesque
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by kirkesque » Sun Jul 26, 2009 3:33 pm

jayman wrote:Great Story Kirk, really good writing, I like the realism you brought to it.
Thank you. I've been reading yours, but have a plateful with school, work, and writing/editing; have only got up to Chapter 6 or 7 at this point.

stormbringer951 wrote:kirkesque, do you have a link to your writing that's available on the internet?
"A Bedtime Story"

http://www.innsmouthfreepress.com/?p=183

"Sarajevo Roses"

http://writersdigest.com/article/sarajevo-roses/ (they published an oddly edited version of it—only very minor things which probably would never be noticed by anyone but me—that I'm not entirely happy; alas!)

Also, you're the first person in a while to catch the Elric reference. I read Moorcock stories, sword and sandal fantasy, when I was around 12-13. I used it as an internet handle in a computer game once and I've just kept the name out of reference, though I do think that Stormbringer is a more interesting character in the story than Elric sometimes (he generally falls into nostalgic anti-hero emo mode throughout most of his stories, when he's not having a Stormbringer-induced combat frenzy).

Anyway, enough thread-jacking. I'd just like to congratulate you on a well-written story and really really hope you write more.

Regards,
Storm
<hijack>
I read the Elric series at about that age, as well. And again a decade or so later. Strombringer is certainly more intriguing than Elric. Elric is linear and Stormbringer is cyclic, if you will. Ever read the collection call "Tales of the White Wolf" featuring stories of Elric written by other authors. Tad Williams has one called "Go Ask Elric" that is hands-down the best use of Elric in fiction I've ever read. Meets a black man with a white sword called "Cloudhurler". Curiously, a modern variant of the sword's name is Strato-caster. ;)
</hijack>

I write continually, so my hope is to find more and more publication. :)

~k
"Se til helvete å komme dere vekk. Det er ikke en bikkje! Det er en slags TING!
Det imiterer en bikkje. Det er ikke virkelig! Kom dere vekk, IDIOTER!"

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stormbringer951
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by stormbringer951 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:30 pm

Your story, "Sarajevo Roses" is darkly humorous. I like that sort of thing. The ironic echo of "extra for the children" whenever the snipers are mentioned is chilling and amusing at the same time. It was a nice story which I enjoyed and it painted almost a whimsical picture of the Bosnian war.

Your Lovecraftian story I enjoyed more, purely because I've read most of the available Lovecraft short stories on the internet. It's a good horror tale, nice and self-contained, which spells out the situation the heroine finds herself in. I found it was somewhat jarring to be in the mind of the human help, as it contrasts with Lovecraft's style of the naive narrator discovering the cosmic horror. I liked the story, the only criticism was that you fleshed out the horror a bit too much - in Lovecraft stories we usually aren't told the majority of the details into the unholy pact between the humans and the cosmic horror, just enough to piece the plot together. Your narrator stated it a bit too plainly. I would also have preferred a more visceral description of the monsters, as they felt somewhat normal to your narrator (which would be true, granted) and somehow they don't feel as menacing as they would otherwise have been.

Very nice works of fiction though. That sort of things are beyond me; I'm still working on improving my writing style, as I stopped writing creatively years ago to write college essay after college essay...
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kirkesque
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by kirkesque » Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:53 am

Almost everything that happens in "Sarajevo Roses" really happened in the city between `92-`95. I knew a few people who lived there during that time. What struck me most about their stories of hunger, fear, and brutality, was the humor they al had about the situation. Laughing at something so grim and dire is close to the way I've always looked at the world.

As for "Bedtime Story"—well, it's amazing what sort of details are inspired by an editor offering a paycheck for something they feel is what they want, yet still missing something... :)

Being in school myself, I know the difficulty in writing creatively and writing academically. I've also been lucky in recent semesters having English lit and Geology professors who are intrigued by my requests to write academic papers with a creative edge. Turning an analysis of Natural Disasters into a narrative, or writing a critical argument on the Gothic elements in PKD's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? that features PKD, Freud, Kim Stanley Robinson, Stanisław Lem, and myself at a barbeque where reality is being devoured by kipple, has proven to be an interesting challenge, as well as provide high marks for the classes.

Creative writing is much like anything else; you've got to practice it regularly (and receive worthwhile feedback) to improve.
"Se til helvete å komme dere vekk. Det er ikke en bikkje! Det er en slags TING!
Det imiterer en bikkje. Det er ikke virkelig! Kom dere vekk, IDIOTER!"

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Zhoutai21
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by Zhoutai21 » Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:54 pm

Cool beans, Kirk. I really enjoyed it and liked the fact that the ending was a downer. A lot of the stories on the fanfiction site have a lot of happy endings for LTROI...cept maybe Chunlou's. That one I found depressing. Anyway, yeah I liked thenew way that Eli feeds.

What's not clear to me though is how Oskar got injured. Is it because he fell on the shards? Or was it the falling triangle of glass?

I couldn't get a sense for how Oskar would look at that age so I just did a short cut and imagined Kiefer Sutherland. :lol:
ಠ_ಠ

ked101
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by ked101 » Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:45 am

yep very good. Great ending

ked101
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by ked101 » Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:20 pm

read it again; it is actually very good. You portrayed the idea Oska thought of Eli as a girl however resumed being a boy when he passed - i like this contrast. A sad ending but I guess there was never going to be a good ending; however I am still uncertain whether Oska would continue to be mortal; Oska obviously loved Eli; I found it difficult to imagine Oska not taking the leap of faith to be like Eli. He obviously travelled with Eli all over, no parents, no friends and I expect little exposure to moral reasoning - so why not be a vampire when your loved one is there beside you. I know it is an interpretation but still! - this is why sometimes its better not having a followup because people can make their own interpretation and talk about it for ages.

Misery needs company to continue a miserable existence because thats how it it!

AllanChai
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Re: Quick Bright Things

Post by AllanChai » Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm

Haha....Ked nice one what u think about its same in my head...
Kirk~ why don't you try to write something longer?
And i found very interesting at the fic name "A Continuation"....But the author have stop Dunno why.... :cry:

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