"Oskar?"PeteMork wrote:I suppose they could have fallen in with a rag-tag group of other young vampires and terrorized the human race for a while, but that's a different story, yet to be written. By someone else.
"Yeah?"
"Umm... we've been together for quite a while, now. I don't want to break up, not ever, but you know, you're not the same guy you were when we first met."
"Umm?"
"So, maybe I'm not the same person I was when we first met, either."
"OK... and... ?"
"I know it's only been sixty or seventy years now, but I'm really afraid you'll get tired of me someday."
"Maybe, maybe not, but probably not this week or next..."
"So, I'm thinking we could bite a few kids and have a family."
"Hmm. Never thought of that. Make sure they're kids who can't beat me at bulleri bulleri bock..."
"Seriously, though, what do you think?"
"Eli, you gotta do me a favour if we ever break up...."
"What?"
"You gotta never try to make family out of anybody who's older than twelve (more or less) and younger than forty."
"What? Why?"
"Because some slack-jawed drooling American who watches too much porn on the Internet and makes awful monster movie remakes will make some kind of beach party romp out of it. It'll be full of bikinis and blood and beer and couples with no clothes on doing stupid and gross things together, and there'll be lots of stupid music."