II. The Royal Game

The higher powers of the reflective intellect
are more decidedly and more usefully tasked
by the unostentatious game of draughts than
by all the elaborate frivolity of chess.
E. A. Poe, The Murders in the Rue Morgue

Esteban placed the jug of lemonade he was carrying on his bedside table, next to which Oskar was lying awake.

'How are you feeling?'

'Tired, but OK I guess.'

Esteban put his hand on Oskar's forehead. Warm, but no fever. Oskar smiled at someone behind him, and Esteban turned around and saw Eli, who smiled at Oskar but had a worried look on her face. She walks without making a sound, like a cat.

'Hi, Eli.'

'How are you feeling, sleepyhead?'

'Better, I think.'

Eli approached and Oskar made space for Eli to sit on the bed. She stroked his hair. As the pair talked, Esteban went to his bookshelf. How does one entertain children? If I read them a story... He had no children's books, and in any case Oskar was thirteen, not a little boy, and as for Eli... He gazed at his books, unable to decide on a suitable one. It can't be a novel, obviously. He came across a Bible he had not opened in a long time. She has spilled blood. He opened the Bible, browsing through the first pages until he found the part he was looking for. Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground... Then, a few lines further down: I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me. He closed the Bible. Appropriate in a way. He put the Bible back in its place, went to the next shelf. Stefan Zweig? Why not? He took the book, and looked up the table of contents. The Royal Game? He grabbed the only chair in the room and waited until he heard a pause in the conversation.

'Hey, do you two want me to read you a story out loud?'

They turned towards him and nodded. Esteban began reading, doing his best to match his tone to the appropriate emotions as the story progressed. This is much too long, I should have chosen something shorter. He glanced up occasionally, and saw that while Oskar was listening attentively, Eli seemed positively fascinated. When he finished reading, he put the book on his desk. Was it a fascination with chess? Was it because it was about obsession? A story about a man clinging to his sanity while held in solitary confinement...

'Do you play chess?'

'I sort of know the rules, but I've never really played,' said Oskar.

'I know the game exists, but I don't know the rules.'

'I haven't played in a long time, but I can teach you if you want.'

An obviously sleepy Oskar nodded, and slid under the sheets. Eli remained next to him as he fell asleep. Esteban glanced at his watch. It wasn't late. He gazed at Eli, thinking.

Eli got up, careful not to wake Oskar. Esteban switched off the light and he and Eli left the room.

'Will you be alright tomorrow, both of you? It will still be dark when I leave for work, so I guess I might see you. I'll leave a note on the table with a number you can reach me at in an emergency, just say you're my niece. And...'

'Esteban.'

'Yes?'

'I want you to teach me how to cook.'

It was a command, not a request.

'But you...'

'It's not for me. It's for him.'

Esteban seemed to hesitate.

'Do you know anything about cooking?'

'No.'

'OK, but no cooking without me there, I don't want you setting the place on fire. What do you want to start with?'

'Baking.'

Esteban nodded.

'Can you... taste food?'

'I can't digest it.'

'You know, professional wine tasters taste the wine and spit it out, they don't drink it. Can you taste the food, even if you can't eat it?'

'I could distinguish one type food from another, but... I don't feel hungry for it.'

They cannot share a meal. Or play together in the sunlight.

'Well, we'll see what we can do, I'm no five stars chef but I can manage. Anyway, I'm going to sleep, so... er, have a good night.'

'Sleep well, Esteban.'

***

The next evening, Esteban opened the entrance door and walked in, carrying groceries. He seemed disappointed at seeing Eli and Oskar there. If only it had all been a dream, a nightmare. They were sitting around the dining room table, playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. Esteban said hi and went into the kitchen and began hurriedy putting away his purchases.

'Oskar, you cheat... again!'

'You're just jealous.'

'You wish.'

'Face it, I'm just better than you at Rock, Paper, Scissors...'

'Hey! Respect your elders!'

Eli slapped Oskar's thigh in mock anger.

'Oh yeah? I'm the one that's thirteen!' and he slapped Eli's thigh.

'Well, you act like you were half your age,' and Eli slapped back.

'Yeah, well you act like you were a hundredth –'

Eli put her arm around Oskar's back and pulled him towards her even as she leaned to kiss him on the mouth. Oskar clumsily put his arms around her.

She's so strong. That alone must be strange, having a girlfriend that could tear you limb to limb. Esteban pulled a chair and sat at the table with the children.

'Hi,' said Oskar to him as the kiss ended. Eli said nothing.

'I'm making spaghetti bolognese for dinner. Anyone want to give me a hand?'

'Sure.'

They both looked at Eli, who smiled sheepishly and nodded. As they both helped him prepare the spaghetti, Esteban thought to himself that it would have been easier to prepare it by himself, and certainly less stressful. But at least Oskar seemed to know his away around a kitchen, while it was obvious Eli did not know what she was doing.

As Esteban and Oskar ate, Eli simply stared into space. As he tried to make small talk, Esteban could not help being reminded of a spoiled child who refused to eat but was not excused from the table. But it's not as if she could eat food. After they were done and had washed the dishes, Oskar went to take a shower, leaving Eli alone with Esteban. As he dried and put away the dishes, Esteban imagined Eli and Oskar sharing a picnic in a park, on a bright summer day. No. Not even the gentle Swedish sun, let alone the harsh sunlight I played in when I was their age.

Eli simply stood there, as if waiting for something.

'Well, it wasn't baking, but it's a start. Maybe tomorrow, or even later today, if I can find a recipe, we can bake something.'

Eli nodded nervously.

'You can only eat... drink blood?'

'Yes.'

'Does it have to be human?'

'Do you think I enjoy killing people?'

'No, I don't think you do. Even if you did, it would be safer to feed on cows or something.'

Eli narrowed her eyes.

'Yes, if I could live on pea soup instead of human blood then people wouldn't want to kill me as much, and I wouldn't have to...'

'Eli, I know that you... that you're not... demonic.'

If you were, you wouldn't travel with a sick boy that the police are looking for, you would have eaten him instead of wanting to cook for him. You came to me looking for a place for both of you to hide. Why would you have saved him in the first place, surely there was a risk in attacking several people at once? And why let a witness live?

Eli simply gazed at him, not replying at first.

'How do you know?'

'Because you love Oskar. You're not just a killer.'

Eli nodded.

'But how can you be sure that I'm not... like that, even if I love Oskar?'

'I can't. But it's always hard to be sure, and I can't be sure I'm not bad myself, either.'

'Don't be stupid. You yourself said you've never killed anybody.'

'I'm not stupid, I realize that if you wanted to kill me you would have done it the first night instead of telling me what you are. So I'm guilty either way, whether I try to kill your or not.'

'I'm not stupid either, if you wanted to kill me, you would have attempted it already, with Oskar sick in bed and me asleep, alone in the cellar. We were desperate, our last shelter...'

'Yes, I suppose many people have wanted to kill you. But in my case, because you haven't tried to kill me, if I killed you, I would be guilty of murdering a diseased child. If I don't try, I'm an accomplice to murder, because you will kill again.'

'Esteban, I can... get my own food for now, without your help, without anyone's help. But there are times during which I sleep for a long time. Months. And when I wake up, I am... weak. Too weak to get my own food. So then I need help.'

'And you expect me to bring someone over for you to kill?'

'I wouldn't ask you to help if it wasn't necessary.'

'And if I don't do it?'

'I will not ask Oskar. That is the only thing I will not do.'

I doubt Oskar would be able to help you much.

'Do you think I truly have no idea what it is like to be you?'

He paused, and Eli looked at him angrily.

'What do you know about what it's like for me?'

'You're telling me that if I don't help you kill, you will die, that if I refuse to help you, I will be killing you as surely as if I had put a stake through your heart. So that I am murderer whether I help you or not. I become a murderer whatever I do unless I die myself, whether by suicide or killed by you. So no, I don't know what it's like to drink blood to live, or to be perpetually a child, or to have to hide from the sunlight, or what it is like to have killed someone. But I do know what it is like to have to kill or die, as surely as if you had... infected me.'

'I have thought of that.'

Such bitterness. How many times has she... asked for this kind of help before?

'But not everyone makes the same choice, surely. Or maybe they do, but I don't care.'

'What do you want, then? In exchange for helping me?'

'I've already told you the only thing I want from you: I want to live. But I will not murder to keep you alive, and if I have to choose between living as your provider or dying, I choose death. If you want me to help you with anything else, then I will help you. But if I must choose somebody's death, I have made my choice. That is all.'

'You have been kind to Oskar. You can help us in other ways. If not, I would... kill you now.'

They stared at one other as if they were truly seeing each other for the first time.

'Thank you. I think I have at least earned the right to be told the truth. I should tell you the truth as well. I couldn't bring myself to kill you, in part because you look like a child...'

'I am a child. I have lived for... many years but I'm twelve inside.'

And ten or eleven outside. It doesn't really matter.

'Also, I wouldn't have tried to kill you because you... remind me of someone. She must have looked like you when she was your age, when she was about twelve, you know what I mean. If you... aged you might one day look like her. More importantly, if she'd had a daughter, she...'

'I'm not a girl.'

'You're... human. Probably the strangest person alive, but still human.'

Eli almost smiled.

'That's not what I meant. Esteban, my complete name is Elias.'

'You mean... you're a boy?'

'No. That is, I was once a boy but... it was taken away from me.'

'Oh...'

Esteban hesitated for a few moments.

'You were...?'

'Yes. It was done to me. With a knife. Oskar knows.'

'But... why?'

'I don't know. Are you disgusted?'

'No. I'm... so sorry. And I'm... sorry for calling you a girl, I didn't know, and –'

Eli shrugged.

'Maybe I shouldn't ask this, but... do you... do you feel ashamed that that was done to you?'

Eli looked down at his feet, saying nothing.

'I think that if... that had happened to me, I would also feel ashamed. Almost anybody would. But there's no reason for you to be ashamed, it's not...'

How to tell... him that I wish all of this hadn't happened without humiliating him, without making him feel like a freak?

He put his arms around Eli.

'I...'

He felt how Eli's body became taut even as he trembled, like steel about to disjoint. He's going to tear me to pieces. At least it will be quick.

Eli relaxed and felt like a rag doll, so that Esteban thought that he would simply fall to the ground if he let him go. How does one comfort a vampire?

Eli rested his head against Esteban's chest. Then he gently pulled away.

'Eli, can you... take just a little blood from a person and drink it, without killing him or infecting him?'

'Yes, but one person can't produce enough blood to... keep me alive.'

'Well, but I can still donate sometimes. Then maybe you would have to... go out for food a little less often.'

'Yes, a little less often.'

'Then just tell me when...'

'Not just now. Oskar will soon come out of the shower.'

Esteban nodded.

'Speaking of Oskar, about the cooking, do you want it to be a surprise for Oskar?'

Eli hesitated, and nodded.

'We'll figure out a way of distracting him while I teach you; I'm not sure what you have in mind but I found some recipes...'

Eli simply nodded again.

'Anyway, would you like to help me find an old chess board I have somewhere? I think it's actually in the cellar.'

'Yes.'