Everlasting Gaze

I wrote this in tribute of the scene after Eli tells Oskar she has to leave and they share that last kiss. She kisses him with her eyes open fixed on him as to immortalize their last memory together. I know I've posted it twice but the second time I wanted to include a discussion link so people can tell me whether or not I suck...

Everlasting Gaze

Quick as a heartbeat
Quiet as a whisper
You stole me
Took me away from all I knew
Everything I got so used to
Gone within a blink
Without you I had nothing to lose
In a life filled with scars
You were my newest bruise
An ache so deep
A pain so welcome I found in you
A life worth losing now worth saving
All the best things gone so soon
I know I wasn’t to look
Best to close my eyes
But I knew I’d lost my greatest vice
My salvation, my demise
All those years spent in darkness
I deserved to see light
I needed one last look to make a second into an eternal embrace
My eyes needed to engrave your face
So I let go with eyes wide open
Fixed on you with an everlasting gaze