Endless Part 1. Toy's gone

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Oskar was still under water. Below the surface he no longer called home. It had become something else. The water blocked his hearing, but now it was completely silent. His lungs were now almost filled with water, and he didn’t want to resist anymore. He had no more energy left. If he had opened his eyes he would see a blue tiled wall, surrendered with water making it twist unevenly. But his eyes were closed. He had thought about going somewhere. Not home, further. Much further. But now he did not think anymore. His body was limp in the water, and if Jimmy had let go of his hair above his head, Oskar was sure he would float. Not even bother to get up, for some sweet air. But he was still held down. He did not think, did not try to breathe, and his mind eased slowly away. It was over, but it was alright.

Then he was pulled up, his body shock as his mouth opened wide and he inhaled all the air he could while barley being conscious. He was almost awakened by his laud gasp. He opened his eyes just barley, and could see a blurred shape of Jimmy and his leather jacket. It was brown-ish red. Somehow he was a bit happy to see his jacket, he was happy to even see at all. But then he saw Jimmy’s knife. Aiming at his face, ready to strike. Oskar didn’t have the reflexes to close his eyes and turn away. He was simply too tried. His face and body was numb.

As Jimmy moved the knife closer, Oskar heard glass explode from behind him. And just moments later Jimmy was pulled behind. The hand that had held him under water let go of his hair, and Oskar was pulled slightly forward, it almost hurt.

Two bare feet stepped on Jimmy’s shoulders and neck as he screamed. So laud it was almost unbearable. Oskar rubbed his eyes with his tired hands. When he looked again Jimmy’s body that lay on the tiles was limp, and he could see something that looked like Eli threw something behind Oskar, it splashed into the pool. Oskar wasn’t able to make a sound, he was still too tried, and still struggled to breathe. As Eli turned around and started running towards Jonny, Oskar coughed.

Only seconds later after all the ones in the poolhouse had started screaming, one more voice grew silent. And yet another splash came from the pool. His sight was still blurred, but he kept seeing the color red. Everywhere.

He had seen Eli, only with a mouth people had when they had braces, but filled with mere teeth. It almost didn’t show that they were big and sharp, not to Oskar. Eli reminded him of a flying squirrel, with skin between their legs and arms. Eli had that too. But it soon grew into his body again, and Eli finally ran towards Oskar.

Eli lifted him up from the pool with one strong pull. So much pressure came to his body he almost threw up water, it felt like. And he coughed hard.
“Oskar? Can you hear me?” Eli said with unclear S’s. It was almost funny, almost.
“..Yes. “ Oskar whispered in-between his coughs. Eli lifted him up from the floor as if he was a princess, damsel in distress. And he was carried away. He could have looked around himself to see the shocked faces of Micke, Martin, Johan and Andreas. But he was too tired, he closed his eyes instead. Oskar was saved.
Eli rushed him into the wardrobes, and pulled down his bathing pants. Oskar could have been embarrassed, but he was still barely breathing. A dry towel was wrapped around him, rubbed hard against his numbed skin. And then Eli dressed him, in underwear, then pants, Eli made him sit. Oskar almost fell on top of himself while doing so, then he leaned his head and back against the lockers. He sat on a hard bench. Socks, shoes, and then Eli helped him with the sweaters and his jacket aswell. His hat, scarf and gloves. They didn’t speak a single word.

Eli sat down in front of him with his back turned, and Oskar grabbed his shoulders. He was lifted on Eli’s bare tiny back. And so, Eli started running. Maybe it was only the dizziness showing, but it sure went awfully fast though the halls. Eli’s feet left a small trail of echoes while tapping gently against the floors. One of the side doors of the building was kicked open, and the cold flew into Oskar’s face. He couldn’t stand it anymore, and closed his eyes again.
Oskar bumped on Eli’s back as he ran. He grew some comfort in its rhythms, up and down. It was as if he was being rocked to sleep. There was probably some water left on his face, for Oskar had started to feel again, and he felt his face freezing and becoming a bit hard.
Then Eli stopped, and the rhythm was broken.
“Oskar?” Eli whispered. He opened his eyes and looked up. He saw his home, the building he had grown up in.
“Where shall I take you?” Said Eli.
“Mom works late.. Just.. Home..” Oskar mumbled. Eli opened the door with one hand, and it flew open. He ran up the stairs without a single break. It became so warm when they entered his apartment. The lights were off, but he could make out the contours of his livingroom, his bedroom door. His bed. He was laid down underneath the covers.
“I need a shower, be right back.” Oskar’s world grew silent for a while, and then he heard the shower running. He smiled, then he faded into a safe kind of sleep. The type where he would awake from.
In his sleep he noticed a body crawling into bed with him and putting its arms around him. And he fell into a deep sleep again.
When he slowly opened his eyes, it was all dark. He yawned and turned around slowly. The body beside him was still there, and when he turned to it, breath was weakly blown in his face.
“Hi.” Eli whispered.
“Hi.” Oskar replied. Then he slowly sat up, and Eli’s arm that had been lying over him slipped. Oskar took off his big jacket, and kicked off his shoes. Pulled off his two thick sweaters, he was boiling. Then he lay down again and let Eli grab hold of him once more. Oskar sighed, and then yawned again. With his bare chest he could now feel Eli’s soft skin against his, and he got that tingling feeling in his belly again. He started smiling. He grabbed hold of Eli in return and held him hard. They breathed into each other’s necks for quite a while. It was so relaxing, so warm and nice.
"I'm glad you came back." Oskar whispered.
"I am too." Eli replied. Then they let slightly go of each other, and faced one another in the darkness.
"What happened over there?" Eli asked. Oskar pulled his hands over his face and sighed again.
"Umm, Jonny's big brother wanted to get even, 'cause of what I did with his ear." Then Eli sighed too.
"So. " Eli said.. "What now?"
"I donno." Oskar said. "I'm too tried to think." Eli lifted his hand and stroked his cheek, and then they hugged each other tightly again. It was silent for a long time, Oskar never wanted this to end. Eli broke the silence.
"I planned to stay for another week or so. But after what happened, I can't stay for longer than a day or two, at most."
"Well then I am coming with you." Oskar said firmly.
"You are?"
"Of course, stupid. No way I'm going to stay here in this dump." They released, and he could just barely make out Eli's face. His eyes had now gotten used to the dark. He could tell Eli was looking straight into his eyes.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Yes of course."
"Alright then." Eli replied fast, and then got up from the bed. A cold gap came where Eli had laid.
"What are you doing?" Oskar asked. He could hear Eli moving about.
"I am going to pack some clothes and stuff." Oskar covered his eyes with his hands, sighed.
"Well at least turn on the lights."
"Oh sorry. " He heard a click, and the ceiling light was turned on, it almost burned in Oskar's eyes. It was way too sharp. After a few seconds he removed his hands from his face. He looked over at Eli who sat on his knees in front of Oskar's locker shelf. He was butt naked. Oskar smiled and yelled:
"And get on some damn clothes, gees!" Eli looked over at him and smiled. Then he pulled up one of Oskar's grey T-shirts and pulled it over himself.
"And now some pants." Eli stoop up.
"I don't fit yours."
"Look under the bed." Replied Oskar. Eli crawled in front of the bed and pulled out his three boxes. Filled with money, toys and clothes.
"Right, I had almost forgot." Eli said. He laid on his back and pulled on his worn jeans, and he even put on a pair of socks. It looked so stupid Oskar had to laugh a bit, and Eli smiled back at him.
"Where are the bags?" Oskar waved his arms towards the closet.
"It's aaall in there." Eli stood up and opened the closet doors. Threw a bag on the floor, bright red. And threw some clothes on top of it, underwear, sweaters, pants, a few hats and another pair of gloves.
"You only have one bag?" Eli asked while throwing clothes from behind.
"Yeah, sorry."
"It's ok."

Eli ran out of the bedroom, and soon came back with Oskar's toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. Put it all on top of the clothes, and then pushed it all in and closed the bag.
Oskar pointed towards his bed stand. said:
"Don't forget your letters, in there." Eli smiled and opened the jar, pulled out the two sheets of paper and put them in the toy box.
"When does your mom come home?"
"Around 9 I think. For how long was I sleep?" Oskar lifted his arm to look at his clock, but it was not there.
"I forgot it, sorry." Eli said.
"It's a clock in the kitchen." Eli ran off and came back in a few seconds.
"It's half past eight, we better get going." Oskar sat up in his bed.
"Right, but where?"
"I have no idea." Oskar stood up, pulled down his pants and went over to his locker. Pulled on a new pair and pulled on a T-shirt, a thin sweater and over it a woolen sweater. All in silence while he thought. He wasn't as tired now.
"What about the basement, ya know, where we found the bottles. Nobody ever goes there." Oskar said. Eli smiled, and nodded. He stood up and grabbed the boxes, carried them all into the hallway while Oskar found his shoes and jacket, put them on. As he walked out to the hallway he was tying his scarf around his neck. But he soon turned around and went into the livingroom.
"Did I forget something?" Eli asked. Oskar stood by his mother's jars close to the TV.
"No, come." Oskar pulled up one of the jars and grabbed a few things. Eli was soon by his side and looked carefully. Oskar held a tiny picture, the one of him getting baptized, with mom and dad.
"Is that you and your.."
"Yes." Oskar turned the picture around, let Eli read what stood on the behind.
"I want something to remember them by." Eli sighed and leaned his head on Oskar's shoulder. Oskar smiled a bit, and then put his hand in the jar again. When he pulled it out again a tiny ring was between his fingertips.
"Mom and dad's engagement ring." Oskar said, Eli nodded. Oskar reached for the jars again and pulled out a seemingly unused perfume bottle. He soon put it all in his pockets and walked with Eli to the hallway. Eli seemed deep in thought.

Then he grabbed his bag, and one of the boxes while Eli grabbed the two other ones. They soon found the basement key hanging on the wall, and closed the door to his apartment. Oskar turned around and looked at it for a moment. Then he said:
"Bye mom." Eli gave him a sad look. Then he and Eli walked fast down the stairs. Their footsteps echoed loudly, and Oskar was scared of being caught, or meeting mom on the way down. But they met no one, they were lucky.
Oskar opened the heavy cellar door, and walked in first. The lights were off, but it shone in from the hallway. He put down his things while Eli closed the door and locked it from the inside. Then he turned on the lights.
"Funny." Eli said. "The last time we were here I almost killed you."
"Yeah, hilarious." Oskar responded sarcastically.
"Sorry, was that a weird thing to say?"
"Yes. You have much to learn." They grinned to each other. Then Eli sighed and rested his hands on his hips. He looked around, and so did Oskar. Something caught Eli's eye, and he walked towards it. An old-fashioned American trunk, he pulled it out. It had more boxes on top of it, but Eli just pushed it all off with one hand.
"I could fit in this."
"What do you mean?" Asked Oskar.
"Well I was thinking you could go to the trainstation tomorrow, with me in something like this." Eli said.
"Are you crazy, people will see me. And besides, how the hell am I supposed to carry that, and all of this?" Oskar pointed to his bag and the three boxes.
"You wanna take a cab, who could call the police? You seem more anonymous on the train, in a cab you will face the driver more differently than randoms in a cupee." Oskar let his shoulders fall a bit.
"Fine." He said, and sounded defeated. Eli looked around again, smiled and disappeared yet again in-between shelves and boxes. He rolled out one of those rollers that can be found in warehouses. Oskar crossed his arms.
"Oh you are good." He said. Eli smiled and blushed slightly. He put it in front of Oskar and then put the big trunk on it.
"It has stuff in it, I will probably not be has heavy. See if you can do it." Oskar grabbed the two handles and moved it a bit around in the tiny space they had. It was heavy, but he could do it. They smiled to each other.
"Ok so then, tomorrow after you wake up I get in the box, you take us to the trainstation, you buy a ticket for the first train available and make sure we are there after sundown." Oskar put his hands on his cheeks and dragged them down, while he said:
"What if something goes wrong?" Eli went over and hugged him.
"You'll be fine." He said. Then Eli dragged a few blankets from one of the boxes in the shelves, as if he knew they were there all along. Oskar got more and more impressed.
"You never told me you had such a keen eye." He said.
"Naturally, I have indeed." Eli replied and smiled while Oskar rolled his eyes. He pulled one blanket on the floor while Oskar took off his jacket, scarf and hat. Put it on the floor and curled it up together making a pillow. Oskar kicked off his shoes and sat down with Eli on the blanket.
"You're probably still tired aren't you?"
"A bit, but I am way too excited to sleep now. Too much is happening."
"Ah, I see, well we can rest." The lights were turned off and Eli laid down and Oskar laid down on top of him, and pulled the blanket on top of them both. Oskar rested his head on Eli's chest, listened to his heartbeat.
"So tell me." He said. "Where have you been?"
"Well, after I left you under the balcony I jumped on a cab, I only drove to Vallingby. There I found a small abandoned cottage with a small cellar where I slept."
"That sounds pretty sad." Oskar remarked.
"It was, dark and empty and lonely. And I missed you a lot. But I had made up my mind, if I wanted to survive I had to leave. It was awful."
"What made you come back?" Asked Oskar while he smiled.
"I thought about something I said here the other day. I asked myself why I couldn't have anything and.."
"You did? When?" Eli sighed.
"Ya know, .. After I , um, between Tommy and that .. Håkan creature.." Oskar nodded.
"Yes right,, and.?"
"Well, I asked myself the same thing again, now that I finally have the chance to be with someone, if I just ran away. Then, I would ruin it for myself then wouldn't I? Asking myself why I can't have anything, then letting everything go and leave? That's stupid, so I came back." Oskar yawned.
"You're so smart it almost pisses me off, you know that?" Oskar said and smiled.
"Well then I am going to piss you off quite often." Eli responded, and they giggled for a bit.
"I really missed you too Eli. I really did." Eli held him a bit tighter.
"I knew you would. Are you more tired now?" Oskar yawned again.
"Yes. "He mumbled. "Good night." Eli smiled, and added:
"And don't let the bed bugs bite."
"You're talking about yourself now?" Oskar said and grinned
"Hey!" Their laughter soon grew to silence and quickly enough Oskar did fall asleep.

When Oskar awaked again it was still all dark. He was still lying with his head on Eli’s chest. But the blanket he could feel was off, and his legs were spread across the floor. He moved his legs back in place and pulled the blanket over himself again. Then he grabbed Eli with his arms, and held around him as he sighed. His eyes were wide open, and he stared into the darkness for a little while. Thinking.
After a little while he noticed that he could not hear nor feel Eli breathing. A fear grew in his body. He grabbed Eli’s shoulders and shock them slightly while he whispered:
“Eli?” Then he could feel Eli taking a deep breath, as his chest rose. A weird high pitch sound came from his mouth. And his chest sank again. It was all dark, but he could feel Eli moving his head and he started to breathe normally again.
“Eli?”
“Yes?” Eli’s tiny arms rapped themselves around Oskar and pulled him a bit closer.
“You didn’t breathe.” Oskar whispered.
“When I rest I don’t breathe.” Eli answered.
“Oh.” Replied Oskar. Eli then started to get up still with Oskar in top of himself.
“I just want to get this thing over with.” Said Eli.
“Are you scared?” Oskar asked.
“Yes, and worried. But I think it will work.”
They sat like that for a few seconds in silence, before Eli said, pretty loud:
“Now.. Can you get off me and turn on the lights?” Oskar didn’t reply, he just got up and turned around in the dark. He started touching the wall with his hand until he found the light switch. He pushed it and the light was turned on. It was strong, and sharp. He had his eyes closed for a few moments, when he opened them he saw Eli sitting on the blanket. With his pants on and a bare skinny chest. He still had his eyes closed. Oskar smiled. He sat down on his knees in front of Eli and looked at him as he slowly opened his big brown eyes. He blinked a few times, and he looked up at Oskar and smiled. Oskar got a strong feeling in his body that made him sigh deeply. He smiled back and grabbed Eli’s hand.
“We can do this.” Eli said.
“I sure hope so.”
Then the both of them let go of each other’s hand and got up. Oskar looked around and found his sweater, put it on while Eli found the big trunk and moved it forward. It was still on top of the roller. Eli opened it and started moving out what was in it. Mostly lots of books and a few garden tools. He then took the blankets he and Oskar had been lying on and put it inside. Eli put on Oskar’s gray T-shirt. He grabbed the box filled with clothing, and put some on the bottom over the curled blankets. Oskar found his shoes, put them on and, and soon after put on his jacket aswell.

Eli stepped into the trunk, still standing in it Oskar walked over to him. He looked up at Eli who now seemed a head taller than him. While Eli seemed quite calm, Oskar was rather tense, and he sighed deeply as he stared into Eli’s eyes once more. Eli bent down and pushed his cheek against Oskar’s, blew into his ear. Oskar closed his eyes and sighed again, but now from becoming calmer. Eli’s hand touched Oskar’s other cheek, and moved his face in front of Eli’s. He had opened his eyes now, and smiled weakly.

Oskar could tell Eli was now pretty tired. His eyelids seemed heavy. Eli had now lifted both of his hands and held Oskar’s head.
“You CAN do this.” He whispered. Oskar nodded, and then Eli moved Oskar’s head closer to his and kissed him on the lips. Only for a few seconds they kissed motionlessly. When they released, Eli placed his arms over Oskar’s back and hugged him tightly.
Then he let go, and curled himself in the trunk. Oskar closed the lid, stroked it with his fingers a few times.
“Sleep well.” He said.
Oskar had put the remaining clothes from Eli’s box in his bag. He had put it over his shoulder, and put the two other boxes on top of the trunk. He opened the door they had locked themselves inside of, held it open with his leg as he dragged the trunk though the doorway. It was a bit hard, but he made it. Good thing he didn’t have to step on any stairs to get outside. He simply rolled it through a tiny hallway, went through yet another door, and there was the door that led him to the outside. Where he could get caught and then everything would be lost.

When he finally with much struggle due to the heavy door, got himself outside with the trunk. He looked around. The daylight was strong, the snow was bright. Nobody was there, it was completely quiet. Oskar sighed with relief and started moving again. It was true what Eli said, it wasn’t as heavy as he had thought. But he often had to catch the boxes as they were about to fall off.
When he walked he constantly looked around himself, scared of anyone seeing him. He tried to hurry as cold wind blew in his face. He also felt quite hungry. Hadn’t been eating anything since last night. Last night.

Now that he was alone with his thoughts, he finally began to put together what had happened. All the red he saw, it was blood. Eli had skin between his arms, sharp teeth. He killed Jimmy and Jonny. And Oskar is now missing. It felt weird. He had never been missing before.
Oskar stopped for a minute, he was breathing heavily. He didn’t have much energy from begin with.
And mom. He looked around, he was in the centrum now, where all the shops were. Nobody was there either. Mom, he’s leaving mom. Dad he could easily leave, he who chose his friend and vodka before his own son. But mom. Poor mom.

Well, Eli meant more to him. Eli understood him. Oskar smiled as he thought about the kiss they had just shared. He was looking forward to being alone with him once more.
Oskar started walking again, and pushed the trunk forward. It was still heavy, and one of the boxes almost fell off, again.
Oskar let go of the trunk and hoped it could balance the boxes standing on its own. He was now inside the train station. He had simply taken a small elevator down the stairs. It was actually a bit fun. Only a few meters from him was a small shelf with train routes. He looked at it, looked very carefully. There was a clock on the wall beside it. It was half past 12. Soon a train would go to Stockholm, but that was too short. They would arrive on the same day. But there was a train going all the way to Oslo. Where it stopped in many different places. One of them arrived late this evening, in Karlstad. Perfect.

He opened one of the boxes and took a one onethousand kronor bill. He put it in his pocket and walked up to a small window. It opened and an old lady stood inside it.
“Yes?” She said.
“I’d like a one way ticket to Karlstad please?” He gave her the bill and she simply pushed a few buttons on a chash register, and a small card come out somewhere with a sizzling sound. She gave it to him, and a few hunded kronor bills in return, and closed the window. Oskar sighed with relief. She barley locked at him.
On the ticket it said his train would arrive on track 5. In 15 minutes. He quickly started moving,
He walked over to the trunk and started pushing it. Looked around with the ticket in his hand and held the trunk with the other. It didn’t take long before he found a small sign with the number 5 on it, and an arrow pointing to the right. He walked through a few corners in a hallway. And he was there. Oskar moved the trunk close to a bench, and sat down on it. He put his hand on the trunk and petted it as if it was a dog. He smiled. He had done it.

There were two tracks on his sides. The floor rose in the middle where he sat and waited. He was inside what seemed like a tunnel, and hallow sounds from trains far away blew though all four tunnels on both sides. He imagined that it lived people there, as if it as from a Goosebumps book. Come to think of it, he was in a Goosebumps book. He was with a real life vampire, who kills. He looked over at the trunk. Eli had told him he never grew up. Which means sooner or later, Oskar would grow up and Eli would stay young. He looked down at his feet and sighed. His stomach rumbled, he was so hungry. Oskar touched on his chubby belly, no way he would leave Eli’s trunk for some food. He had no time for that. He could only hope they sold something to eat on the train.
Then it came. His train. There were green letters written over a black screen. Oslo. It passed him while slowing down. Close to him one of the doors stopped, and all the doors opened. Oskar quickly stood up and grabbed the trunk. Pushed it closer to the train. There were small steps up from the door. A woman stood there in a dark green uniform.
“Need some help with that?” She asked.
“Yes, thanks.” Oskar replied. She had bright blond hair, just like him. And she took the two boxes and moved them inside, then they both lifted the trunk and the roller up the stairs.
“There. “She said out of breath.
“Thanks.” Oskar said.
“You’re welcome, have a nice trip.” She said, and then walked off. Oskar put the boxes back on the trunk and started moving. Inside the train was in a wooden color, and there were lots of half walls, inside them where many seats that did not look comfortable at all. The seats were dark brown. He moved the trunk close to one of the seats, picked at random. Nobody else had entered the train, and nobody was inside of it either. He was all alone, so it didn’t matter.
Oskar sat down, and sighed deeply. He was so tired. He opened his jacket and took off his hat and scarf. He could feel the train starting to move, and the bench he had been sitting on slipped away out of sight. Oskar looked out the window as the train went through the tunnel for a few seconds, and then came out into the bright sunlight. He could hear the railway underneath the train, and see the light posts, cars and buildings passing by. The last he would see of stupid Blackeberg, he thought and smiled to himself.
“Is that yours?” A man said, Oskar turned his head around. A man with the same green uniform as the woman stood there, nodded towards the trunk. Oskar tried not to look at him, but nodded gently.
Then the man lifted his hand with the cutter, and Oskar gave him the ticket. He pushed the cutter down, and gave it back. It was now one tiny hole in it.
“Is someone meeting you on the other end?” Asked the man, Oskar nodded again.
“It is not as heavy as it looks.” He said and smiled a bit too himself.
“Not to.. But what is in that trunk anyway.” Oskar smiled and looked up at the man.
“Oh a little bit of everything.” He said happily.
“It will be evening when you arrive, ya know.” He said.
“Mmm.” Oskar replied. Looked down again.
“The boxes, are they also yours?”
“Yes.”
“Look I don’t mean to.. Again, but how are you going to manage?”
“I’ll get help, later.” Oskar said, and smiled again.
“I see, well, have a nice trip then.” The man said and smiled.
“Thanks.” And finally, the man walked away, and let Oskar be. He let his breath out.
His stomach rumbled again Oskar realized he had forgotten to ask if they sold any food. Damn it. Then he yawned, and figured he might as well sleep, just like Eli.

He took off his jacket, put his hat and his scarf along with it and curled it together. Put it on his side and laid down. Then he put a piece of the scarf over his face, and closed his eyes. The last thing he thought before he fell asleep was that he would like some candy.

Tap tap taap tap tap.. tap
Oskar opened his eyes. Lightposts drifted in the windows, making the shadows move in the cupee. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. It was dark, and he was finally wide awake.
Tap tap tap.
It came from the trunk. Oskar looked around, nobody was there. So he got up and opened it. Eli was curled up inside of there, Oskar could barely make out the contours of this little body.
“Sorry.” Said Oskar. “I fell asleep.” He could see the shape of Eli move, and as he stood up the light from the window danced over his face. He could see that Eli was smiling, and for a little while Oskar stood there and looked up at him. The box and what was under made him seem so tall, they could hear each other breathe. Again and again the orange light drifted over his face fast. As it did over himself when the lightposts passed by. When the light repeatedly hit his face, and his eyes. It was as if they glowed of a dark golden color. And the pupil seemed to become slightly smaller when it did. Eli had bent down and put his hands on Oskar’s shoulders. He smiled widely and nervously. It seems like he was about to laugh, but he just smiled. Then he quickly grabbed hold of Oskar’s body and hugged him tightly, and he hugged Eli back.

While they hugged in silence Oskar took a few steps back and made Eli step out of the trunk. He jumped into the same height as Oskar and they were not ready to let go just yet.
“You did it.” Eli whispered. Oskar laughed silently while their embrace still was strong.
“It was kinda lonely to fall sleep without you.” Eli continued.
“Same here.” Oskar answered. And after a long time they finally let go of one another. Eli laughed a bit, said:
“You smell good.”
“Really? It was pretty heavy dragging you around, you must smell my dried out sweat.” Eli put his tongue out, teased:
“Ha ha, you would probably be heavier in that box.” Oskar’s face grew very serious, as he said:
“Not to you it wouldn’t be.” Then he started laughing and Eli laughed with him. Then he took his hand and dragged him to the seat Oskar had been resting his eyes at. They sat down, grabbed hold of each other and watched as the lights passed the window by.

The train stopped, finally. The station was placed outside, cloudy, gloomy, dark. Eli pulled out all the boxes and the big trunk on the roller all by himself. While Oskar walked beside him and down from the train to the sement of the train station, he looked up. Snowflakes soared sliently in the air, the sky was clear, stars and all. No wonder it was so cold. The wind blew right through his thick layers of clothing, he looked down. Eli waited merly two meters ahead of him, so Oskar carried on. The cold made him think in a hurry, away from the cold. It was almost impossible to think. The only two thought that would pierce through his head was, the cold, and Eli. Not anyhting special, just. Eli.

They followed a path away from the station and followed its tracks pararelly. The tracks had tall thin fences beside each sides. And some vegetation to settle it in nicely. Of course it was naked, all plants were, almost. They walked along the path silently. Eli didn't even wear shoes. Oskar couldn't help but think it would draw attention. He looked around himself, to see if he could spot anyone. But he didn't. Instead, he saw a lightpost lighting up a small space close to yet another bush. The snow flickered when it went though the orange light. Oskar smiled to himself.
"Come." He said, and changed direction. Eli immidetly followed and said:
"We need to hurry." Oskar waved with his hand, completely ignoring him.
"Ye ye, I just want to rest for a minute." He stopped close to the lightpost, waited for Eli to come. And he did. He closed in with the roller making tracks in the snow. Put the boxes down in the snow. And sat himself on top of the very box he had been inside of. Oskar sat down beside him.
"Are you feeling alright?" Eli asked with a questioning and a little bit worried look. Oskar smiled nervously.
"I'm fine." He said. They sat there for a minute in silence, shoulder against shoulder. Then Eli relaxed and leaned back a bit. Looked up at the sky filled with stars.
"I have always enjoyed looking at the sky." He said and sighed. Oskar smiled and looked down, touched something in his pocket.
"Yeah." He said.
"But they sure shine brighter tonight." Eli continued and looked over at Oskar smiling. Oskar was busted with his hand deep inside his pocket, looking at his pal with surprise. Eli leaned forward and became more alert.
"What are you up to?" He asked.
"Nothing. I.." Oskar said stifly, then be sighed deeply and let his body relax a bit. Parhaps a bit disepointed with himself for ruening the moment, he pulled out his knife. He had it in his hand and looked down at it. Snow fell and melted on his little fingertips.
"I just, thought, we could mix. For real this time." He mumbled while still setting his eyes on the knife. He could feel his cheeks warming up. He knew the meaning behind what he had just said, it belonged to words not yet in his vocabulary. And Eli didn't even say anything, a slight panic grew in him. He looked over, looked at Eli's face.

Eli had his eyes set on the knife aswell, he had his mouth closed and his eyes were somewhat wide. Wind blew over his face and made his hair wave sligthly. Truth be told it was kind of beautiful, and it made him even more nervous.
"Ok, let me get this straight.." Eli finally said, with an equally straight face.
"If we mix blood, you will get infected. Not only would that mean that you are willing to kill people to live, you have seen me in action. It is not pretty. You will regret it more than anything, it will be hard getting used to, not to talk about all the creeps you w.."
"I get it, ok I get it. I know. I have figured it out. I even know that I don't know." Interupted Oskar.
"And you are still willing?" Eli had grown almost angry for a second there, but now his face was clam and serious again. His eyes were so serious it pierced through Oskar's soul.
"Yes." Oskar answered.
"And you are abseloutly sure, so sure you will ever be about anything ever?"
"YES." Oskar replied again. Eli looked him intensly in the eyes for a moment, then he moved forward, wrapped his arms around Oskar's body. And hugged him thightly. Put his head close to Oskar's, his chin resting inbetween his shoulder and neck. Oskar of course, returned the embrace just as tightly. Then, they let go of each other and faced one another yet again. Oskar could see the reflecton from the dim light above in Eli's eyes. More than before, they were wet. A single tear ran down his right check, Oskar lifted his hand and wiped it away. Then let his hand rest on Eli's face. Eli closed his eyes, sniffed. Then he opened his eyes again, a bit more optemistick. With a little smile on his face, like Mona Lisa, Oskar thought. Eli inhaled heavely, and when he let out his breath, he said:
"Now, shall we do it? Who's first?" Oskar smiled with his teeth.
"I am." He said. Removed his hand from Eli's face and lifted the other which had helt the knife this whole time. It was consealed, and he opened it. Lifted the knife up to the light, let the relfection of himself be seen. The very refelction he first saw Eli in. Now he was going to be one too. One of two.

He let the knife rest on his palm for a moment, Eli grabbed his other hand. Twinned his fingers into it. Moved his body as close as he would wihtout being in the way. In an almost embrace. Then Eli grbbed the knife from Oskar's hand, he opened his palm. Let Eli bury the small blade into his hand. Fast but carefully it tore open a small rift. And drops of blood pealed out. Then he let go of Oskar's hand, while Oskar breathed heavely 'cause of the pain. He cut himself much deeper, and bled a whole lot more. The blood gathered in his palm, as if it was a small bowl there instead. The hand which held the knife want behind Oskar's back and stuck out on the other side. Oskar carefully put his hand over Eli's and rubbed it sligthly, some blood ran down the sides of Eli's hand. Their finger intertwinned again and they lifted their hands up. Rubbed a bit more. Small strams of blood ran down both of their arms. Only for Oskar, it ran down into his sweather and jacket arms. Eli's arm was bare, still wearing that gray T-shirt. Oskar looked up at Eli, into his eyes. Eli smiled widely, almost a bit surprised but exited. Oskar smiled too, and for a second it seemed that nothing but this moment mattered.

"Hey!" The both of them jumped a bit. They turned their heads forward and saw a man standing about ten meters away. He wore a green uniform, Oskar recodnized him imidietly. The ticket man. Eli let go of Oskar. With one bloody hand, and the other holding a bloody knife, he walked a few steps forward. The man did not speak, Oskar watched in silence. He had ruined it, Oskar felt a tad bit anger grow in him. Eli felt it too, he could tell. Oskar's heart beat fast.
Eli was about to jump on him, had even leaped a few centemeters, when the speakers from the trainstation called for the Oslo train to leave. The man responded with a jump, and desperetly turned around. He started running, and Eli sighed. The man disapeared into the night and Eli turned around. He almost looked tired, walked to Oskar and gave him a hug while standing. Oskar still sat on the box, and let his and Eli's blood on his hand smear the back of Eli's T-shirt. This embrace was short, yet conforting. For a moment there Oskar had seen himself being dragged away from Eli. But he was now back.
"We should get going." Eli whispered, Oskar nodded.
"But where?" He asked, Oskar smiled a bit.
"Just follow me, and leave the trunk." Eli replied. Oskar did as he was told, and grabbed one box. His wound had stopped bleeding but it still hurt. At least when he had put on his gloves it didn't hurt as much. Eli grabbed the two other boxes, they were all closed. His one arm was naked and bare, the other, with dried up lines of blood. His palm had some aswell, Oskar stared at his hand.
"Don't worry Oskar, it has already healed." Eli said and smiled.
"Really?" Asked Oskar, Eli nodded.
"Now let's go."
As they walked Oskar peeked on Eli's back. He could see the red mess he had just made with his hand. Oskar smiled to himself, and then looked forward again.

It was cold, he was very hungry and he could taste his own bad breath. He realzed he hadn't bruthed his teeth, eaten or been drinking any water in 24 hours. His tongue felt dry aswell. Oskar was not feeling good at all.
Then Eli suddently stopped in front of one if the buldings. All the buildings they had walked passed looked simelar, and were build tightly together. This one seemed just like any other, and Eli looked up at it, then down.
"We're here." He said. Oskar put the box he was holding down on the ground. Eli turned around and opened it. Pulled out a small box, it was flat, fitted perfectly in his two hands.
"What's that?" Oskar asked. Eli smiled at him, opened the box. There were a hand full of small metal sticks, big needles?
"It's lock picks." Said Eli.
"Oh." Oskar responded and nodded. Eli picked up a few of them and closed the box, gave it to Oskar. Then Eli turned around, his dark hair waved in the wind. Oskar looked at the red marks on Eli's back again and cracked a small laugh to himself.
Eli walked to a very thin door on the very side of the building. It was in almost the same color as the building walls. Oskar hadn't even noticed it. Eli sat down on his knees in front of the lock, put the picks in, and twisted them. Oskar watched curiously. It didn't take long before a small click came from the door, and Eli opened it ajar.
"I didn't know you could pick locks." Oskar stated. Eli stood up and said:
"And now you do." Oskar gave him the box again and Eli put the picks back in place. Put it in the box and closed it. Oskar lifted it up and Eli picked up his two boxes, walked in first. Before he vanished into the doorway he looked back behind Oskar, Oskar did too. Nobody was there, only cars drove by.
Just inside the door was a steep staircase, and as Oskar carefully started walking down Eli whispred:
"Close the door behind you."
"But then I won't see anything." Oskar complained.
"If you fall, you'll fall on me. Don't worry, be careful." Oskar sighed in anoyment, let one of his arms go and closed the door. Now he was in complete darkness, and he had to feel his way down with his hand on the wall. Stepping down slowly.
When he finally was down he could see where the walls ended and the floor started. He could hear a door open before him.
"I'm in here." Eli said, Oskar followed his voice.
"Do you have a flashlight in one of these boxes?" Oskar asked.
"No, sorry. I have never needed one." Eli said. Oskar heard that he put down the boxes, and so he did aswell.
"Right." He crossed his arms. "Where are we?" The door he had walked in was closed.
"I have been here once before, just a basement nobody ever uses." Eli answered.
Oskar felt him coming in for an embrace, he returned it.
"Are you feeling ok?" He asked. Oskar frowned.
"No, I am hungry and thristy and cold and everything." Eli let go of him.
"Hm, we could buy you some food." Eli opened the door.
"Easy now." Oskar said. "You need to change." Eli closed the door again.
"Why?" He asked. Oskar laughed a bit.
"Well first of all my blood is smeared all over your back. And you aren't wearing any shoes, or a jacket. It looks weird." He aswered and laughed a bit more. Eli laughed too.
"Oh, well. Ok. So, a new T-shirt, shoes, a jacket. Right?" Oskar nodded, it felt weird doing it in the dark. But he knew he was seen.
He could make out the weak sounds of clothing. It didn't last for long.
"There." Eli said cheerfully, he sounded almost proud.
"Can you bring my toothbrush and paste too?" Oskar asked.
"Sure."

When they got out of the basement and the dim streetlight came to sight, it almost felt like he was coming up from the pool again. Only less scary. It felt new, and Eli looked at him with a smile. He wore a dark blue little winter robe and a small purple scarf. He had shoes too. Oskar blushed.
"Here." Eli said and gave him his toothbrush and paste. Oskar grabbed it, put it in the pocket on his jacket that still contained his mother's perfume. He had forgotten that it was there. Then they started walking, and Eli grabbed his hand. Oskar wore gloves, and soon took the one on Eli's side off. Then Eli grabbed his hand again, this time both with bare hands.
"I think there is a small fast food resturant over there." Eli said and pointed far, there seemed to be a small park in front of them. And the lights from the other side of the park were far away. Oskar could see where he was going, but he wasn't fond of the darkness in a strange place. They started walking, Oskar moved himself a bit closer to Eli.
"Are you alright?" Eli asked and smiled.
"Yeah, just. I don't see much." Eli smiled.
"Enjoy it while it lasts." He said.
"What do you mean?" Asked Oskar. He could just barley see his face.
"Well, I see everything in the dark, right? Then there is no mystery, no fun. Just, not darkness."
"I still don't like it."
There were nothing else but them and the nature of the park. Cars drove by on all sides of it, but as they walked closer to the middle of the park they grew more distant. Cold wind blew in Oskar's face, he shivered. Eli must have noticed, since he soon grabbed hold of Oskar shoulder and pulled him closer.
"I don't miss the cold very much however." He stated, Oskar smiled at him, laughed a little bit.
"I sure won't either." He said. A slightly sad expression came over Eli's face.
"You will miss a lot of things." He commented rather seriously. Oskar didn't respond. In silence they gazed apon each other in this unknown darkness. So new, different and scary. Eli lifted his free hand and stroked Oskar's cheek gently. Eli's thumb stroked over Oskar's lower lip for a second before he moved closer and kissed him. Their lips dragged over each other, and the sounds of their surroundings seemed to fade a bit. Oskar's cheek grew warm, and it was not as scary anymore.

When they released Eli smiled again, looked another way shyly. Oskar did too, for a coople of seconds. Then Eli pulled at his hand, and started moving forward.
"Wouldn't want you to get stuck here." He said and laughed. Oskar giggled, and started moving towards the light, together, with Eli.
Oskar and Eli stood before what seemed like a burger place, hand in hand. Someone walked past them from behind and Oskar imidietly let go of Eli's hand. Eli smiled firmly, then looked away. Oskar toched his belly, could feel the hunger. The smells of hot food surroindered him, he was even weak in the knees. From hunger, and something else.

He lifted his hand in front of the window, it shock slightly. He came to the realisation that he had never been this hungry before. He sighed, and opened the door. A bell rang.

When he and Eli got inside, he noticed he had dried blood on his hand. Smeared, dark red brown grains of blood. Eli lifted his hand, he had much more on his. Eli quickly put his hand down and looked over at one of the waitresses. The room was small, with about four tables all with four chairs around them. The walls were bright green, rather ugly. The floor a redish brown. Bright white lights hung from the roof.

"Where is the toilet?" Eli asked, the woman who wore a white dress and a black aipren turned around. She had blond hair just like Oskar.
"Hello, it's right over there." The woman lifted her right arm, pointed to a door marked with a small sign where it stood WC. Oskar rolled his eyes while he grinned. Eli grabbed his arm and pulled him over. Just before they together walked into the toilet, Oskar saw that the waitress gave them a questioning look. Then he closed the door behind him and smiled.

The second he entered the bathroom he felt the need to pee. It consisted of two small stalls and one small mirror and sink. Oskar rushed into one of the stalls and locked it. Lifted the toilet seat, the toilet was dirty. He made a funny face to himself, pulled down his pants and helled his willie with both hands. Aimed his pee in such a way it wouldn't make too much sound, the very thought of Eli listening to him made him imberresed. But then Eli turned on the sink out there, and Oskar could pee as he pleased.

When he was done he shock it, lifted up his underpants and pants, flushed. He turned around to the stall door, all gray and blank. He started at it for a second, listened to the water running out there. That was the last time I will ever pee, he thought to himself. Then he smiled. No more peeball then. Oskar smiled a bit wider, unlocked the door and when he came out he had let his smile fade again.

Eli had taken off his jacked, leaned over the sink like a dork with his elbow under the small stream of water. Oskar giggled, Eli looked over at him and smiled. Propably understood how stupid it looked. Oskar took of his jacket as well, throw in on the floor close to Eli's. Watched as he washed away the last bit of blood that had been running down his arm. He sure much have cut himself very deep. In the dark he probably didn't see half of it.
"So much blood." Oskar commented. Eli leaned back, was finally done. He kept the sink running.

"This? Oh it's nothing." Eli said, grabbed paper from a holder hanging on the wall. Started drying his arm all the way up to the elbow. He took a step back, Oskar pulled up his sheeles on his sweather and put his hands under the water. It was ice cold, he quickly removed his hands, glanced over at Eli.
"What?" Eli asked.
"Nothing." Oskar responded, made it so that the water got hotter, waited for a few seconds and then put his hands in the water again. Just perfect. He noticed that he too had a few streams of dried uo blood going down his arm, but not as far as the elbow. He leaned down, grabbed the soap, rubbed it against his arm. Eli giggled behind him. The blood soon was washed off, Oskar turned off the sink, and grabbed some paper too. While he dried his arm he looked up at himself in the mirror. Eli stood right behind him. Oskar smiled to him, and he smiled back. Oskar threw the paper in the bin, lifted his jacket. He then took out his toothbrush and paste from one of the pickets and threw the jacket on the floor again. Squized a small lump of paste onto the toothbrush, bade the tapwater cold and started brushing. He brushed longer and harder than usual, simply because it had been a while. The then bent over and placed his mouth under the tap. Not touching it with his lips, and cleaned out his mouth. Then he drank a few big gulps of water. When he was done he stood up with his back straight, grabbed a piece of paper from the holder and dried off his mouth. When he threw it in the bin he looked over at Eli who had been standing behind him, seemengly observing.

"Do you need to brush your teeth ever?" He asked, Eli smiled a bit and shock his head. Oskar then bent down and lifted up both his and Eli's jackets. Kindly he have Eli his while he opened the door. He made sure Eli was out before he closed it behind them.

One side of the small resturat was dedicated to seating, the other serving. A big wide counter streaching through the entire room, and menuposters hanging close to the cieling. The two of them walked directly to the counter and looked up at the menues. They all had different variants of brugers, fries and hot-dogs in them. A tired looking young man stood behind the counter. He moved closer to them, and said quite monotonely:
"Can I get you anything?"
"I would like a 60 kilograms burger, some fries and a coca-cola." Oskar said quickly. It didn't matter all that much what he chose, he was just hungry. The man looked over at Eli, he shock his head.
"That will be 30 kronor." The man said, Eli reached into the pocket of the jacket hanging from his arm. Pulled out a thousand kronor bill, the man's eyes got wide for a second. Eli smirked at the man and gave him the bill. He opened the cash register and looked rather confused. Then he pulled out bill after bill, coin after coin and gave it all to Oskar. He had opened his palms and closed them together like a bowl. When the man was done he closted the drawer of the register and sighed. Eli gigglet a little bit, then he said rather mockingly:
"Thank you." He and Eli smiled to one another, walked over to the nearest table. They made sure to face each another with the table in the middle. Oskar pored the cash on the table, and Eli grabbed it all, put it in his pockets. Oskar bend over it, leaned his head in his hands.
"So hungry" He complained. The waitress who showed them the toilets came over with a glass of coke, with ice-cubes and a straw. Put in in front of Oskar.
"Here you go." She said, Oskar nodded to her, and she walked off. Oskar imidetly started drinking from it. Tried not to drink to much, wanted to save it for the food. Then a thought came to him, his mother was not here to tell him he only got one glass of soda. He was with Eli, and they had enough money to buy a hundred glasses of soda. If they wanted to. Oskar sensed a freedom he had never had before, he looked over at Eli and smiled.
"What is it?" Eli asked. Oskar put the glass down after drinking almost half of it. Leaned back and said:
"We can buy all the sodas I want." Eli smiled.
"We sure can. Better now than later." He responded. Oskar froze for a second, then he looked down at his hand. His cut. The red stripe across his hand. This would be the last time he drinks soda, eats food. He looked around himself, then he bend down to see under the chair, when he got up again Eli looked at him.
"Where are my gloves?" he grabbed his jacket and searched in the pickets, only one of them was there. Eli stood up.
"I'll check in the bathroom." He said. Oskar nodded, and while Eli left the table he sank down in the chair. Rather bummed out, he took another sip of his glass. His last meal. he hoped it would be a good one. Then he drank the soda through the straw, and blew a few bubbles.

Eli soon returned, with the glove in his had he waved with it. Gave it to Oskar who shoved it in his jacket pocket. Wouldn't want to break up a pair. He looked over at Eli who had just sat down. Eli shoved his chair as close to the table as possible and leaned forward. While he smiled back at Oskar he could feel something touching him under the table. Oskar jumped a bit, peeked a glance of Eli's foot touching his. Oskar blushed, looked over at the counter to see if anyone was looking at them, there was not. He looked over at Eli again who stared at him, seemed focused. Then he leaned back, moved his foot away and crossed his arms. Looked down at the table. Oskar leaned back aswell, felt a bit guilty, and hungry still.
"Maybe we should sit on the same side of the table?" Oskar asked. Eli moved his head up quickly, gave him the same focused look again.
"Are you sure." He asked. Oskar nodded. Eli sat up, leaving his jacket hanging on the chair. And sat down on the chair beside Oskar.
"Move closer." Oskar whispered, Eli smiled a bit. Stood up and moved the chair as close to Oskar as possible, then he sat down again. As soon as he did, Oskar moved one of his feet inbeteen Eli's, he looked up at Eli who smiled at him. Then he looked back down at his soda again and sucked from the straw. Eli had one of his elbows on the table, leaning his head on his hand. Oskar and Eli looked over at each other and smiled.

Then the blond waitress finally came with Oskar's food. He knew beacuse they were the only ones there, and he smiled widely. The plate was set in front of him and she also gave him a knife and fork wrapped in a napkin. He emmidietly dragged on the napkin and made the cutlery spin off onto the table. He took them each in one hand, looked down at his cheese burger, then he let the knife and fork down on the table again. And eagerly grabbed the burger with his two bare hands. It smelled so good. He bit down far in, and started thiewing his big bite. It tasted even better than it smelled. Meat, cheese, salad, cucumber, tomato, ketchup. All mashed into one combined flavor. He looked over at Eli with cheeks filled with mashed food. Eli giggled, and he did too. Only he couldn't really make it work, which made Eli laugh out laud. So laud in fact, that the man behind the counter glanced over at them.

Oskar tried thiewing off the big bite fast, even had to stallow it twise. Then he ate a few fried using the fork. Oskar's foot was still inbeteen Eli's, and Eli moved his feet closer to each other. Slightly squizing Oskar's foot. He looked over at Oskar and seemed very pleased. All while Oskar ate. A few fries, some big bites of the burger, still just as good. Then a few more fires. Then a sip of the sweet bubbly coke. He didn't even speak to Eli during this time, and Eli didn't speak to him. Just watched silently.

Then when Oskar was done, and the plate was completely empty, he sank down in his chair. He patted his belly weakly with both of his hands and sighed. I might have been eating too fast, and felt a tad bit nauseous aswell. Eli leaned over the table with his elbow and smirked at him.
"Was it a good meal?" He asked. Oskar nodded enthusiastically. "Good." Eli continued. He looked back at the counter where it seemed that the chasier was on break. The door probably leading to the kitchen was open. White walls were to be seen inside of it, but no people. Eli then looked over at Oskar again, lifted his hand and stroked his hair gently. Oskar sighed and closed his eyes for a moment while Eli continued. He could feel Eli grabbing his hand that rested on the table, the hand that stroked his hair moved its way back to his neck and helt it a bit hard. Then, with his eyes still closed, he felt Eli press his lips again Oskar's. His cheeks grew warm imidetly, but before he could react he dove into a deep nothingness. One he recodnized to be the beginning of a memory.

He was sitting in a wooden cabin, it was dark. Only a few candles lit the room, it was hard to see. The open windows were dark aswell. It smelled, both good and bad smells. Bad smells came from the people around him. His older brother and sister, sitting each on both if his sides. The good smells coming from his mother, standing over the stove. His mom was turned away, but Oskar could tell what she was doing. She was poring warm and tasty food from a small cauldron to three wooden five. Oskar licked his mouth.

Then she turned around with two bowls in her hands, she smiled. Her face was beautiful, her teeth were not. Espesially in this week light her teeth looked brown. Mom gave one bowl to his brother, and one to Oskar. Big wooden spos were already in the bowls, Oskar lifted it. Ate the food from it, porridge. That was all they almost ever ate, and it tastes soo good. His stomach ached. He had after all worked in the fields all day, he thought to himself. Oskar's sister soon got a bowl aswell, and mom and dad sat down facing them and ate aswell. In silence they all consumed the porridge as fast as they could. It wasn't even that much, bit it was all that they had for the day.

Without a single thought in mind other than hunger, he ate none stop. It went by so fast, and when he was dun he sunk down in his chair and sighted. Finally he could relax.

Eli released and Oskar opened his eyes. They looked at each other for a few seconds smiling, while Eli still held his hand on the table. Then he let go of his neck and his hand and leaned back. Oskar looked over at the counter and noticed that the man was staring at them. Oskar looked down and blushed hard, Eli giggled. Then he stood up and said:
"Maybe we should get going?" Oskar stood up fast aswell.
"Yes. We should." He said quickly. And while Eli walked over to the other side of the table and grabbed his jacket, Oskar put on his, and tied his scarf. Eli put on hia jacket, leaving it open. Oskar put on his gloves, turned around and walked out with Eli close behind him. In the distance he head the man behind the counter giggle a little bit. Oskar bured his chin in his jacket collar and scarf. Eli closed the door behind him and grabbed his hand.
When they had walked passed the resturant his imberresement grew weaker, and he sighed. Then he took of the gove on Eli's side again, and put it in his pocket. Then he grabbed hold of Eli's hand again. For a while they only looked at each other, and the cold didn't seem so bad either. Porbably because he had a full stomach, Oskar thought to himself.

When they looked around themselves after a little while Oskar asked:
"You do know the way back right?" Eli nodded.
"Naturally." Eli responded. Oskar rolled his eyes and smiled. He looked over at Eli and said:
"Of course, you're supposed to say yes, of course I do." Eli opened his eyes wide, then he said rather stifly:
"Yes of course I do." Then he relaxed and smiled. "Sorry." He said. Oskar held his hand a bit tighter and responded:
"It's ok." Then he lookd around again, and stopped. Eli's hand stretched out a bit before he also stopped.
"What?" He asked. Oskar looked at a shop beside him. Filled with hiking equipment. Eli looked at it too.
"Maybe we can find a flashlight in there." Said Oskar.
"Maybe." Eli responded. Oskar dragged him along.
"Come on." He said and smiled. Eli followed.
Oskar opened the door, no bell this time. He let go of Eli's hand and looked around. The walls were in different shades of grey. A small counter with a woman who looked to wear some of the store's hiking clothes. They looked a certan way. Around the shop were tall wodden shelves filled with hiking jackets and pants, big bagpacks and sleeping bags in varied colors. Oskar truned to the woman behind the counter, she was tall and kinda muscular. Had dark brown hair set up in a ponytail.
"Excuse me?" He asked. The woman turned her sight towards him.
"Do you have any flashlights?" She nodded, smiled and said:
"Just look in the shelf closest to the inner wall." Oskar pinted to the right.
"Over there?" The woman nodded. Oskar walked into the openings inbetween shelved. He looked back, Eli followed suit. He smiled to himself, then he looked forward and continued walking.

And sure enough, half of the shelf standing against inner wall was filled with flashlights. In all sized, mostly black, some in pink and blues. Oskar picked out a big one, Eli peeked over his shoulder. Oskar lifted it sligthly up and down in both of his hands.
"It's a bit heavy." He stated, looked over at Eli.
"I can carry anything you know." Eli said and smiled. He grabbed the flashlight out of Oskar's hands.
"And besides, you will only really need it for just tonight. It doesn't matter all that much." Oskar stared at the flashlight. That's right, he thought. I will get night vision. He looked up at Eli.
"This one then?" He asked, Eli nodded, turned around. Oskar walked with him over to the other half of the shelf. Found a battery that seemed to fit. Oskar notet to himself that he had to remember to ask the lady if the size was correct.

He and Eli was on their way to the counter, walking inbetween the shelves. When Oskar stopped just like had had done infront of the shop before.
"Eli." He said. Eli stopped, turned around still with the flashlight in his hand. Oskar looked to his left, at the many sleeping bags placed on top of each other.
"You want to buy sleepingbags?" Eli asked. He seemed to be in doubt. Oskar touched one of the bigger ones in the stack.
"We only need one big." He said gently. Oskar looked over at Eli. He stared at the round shapes stacked untop of one another and smiled weakly, Oskar could see a tint of pink in his cheeks. Then Eli nodded and quickly moved forward, landed a small peck on Oskar's lips. Then turned around and walked away. Oskar smiled.
"Ok then." He whispered to himself. And dragged out the very sleepingbag he had touched. It was in dark blue. He put it under his arm and walked towards the counter again.
When he was about to arrive he heard Eli ask the woman in the counter:
"Are you sure this is the correct battry size?" And the woman answered:
"Yes I am sure. Anything else?" Eli turned towards Oskar and smiled.
"Yes, that sleeping bag." Oskar put it on the counter while the woman pushed a few buttons on the cash register. A drawer flew upen and she reached out her hand.
"One hundred and fifty kronor." She said firmly. Eli reached down in his pickets and lifted his hands up filled with lots of coints. He dumped it all in the woman's hand and some of it fell on the counter. Eli giggled.
"Is this enough?" He said. Oskar laughed too.
"Hold on." The woman said, and started counting each and every coin. It took a good one and a half minute to be exact. Then she gave a few coins back to Eli, who placed them in his jacket pocket again.
"Bye now." The woman said a bit annoyed. Oskar and Eli smiled to each other while Oskar put the sleepingbag under his arm, and Eli grabbed the batteries and the flashlight. They walked off with a smile, Eli even waved.,
When they ad arrived back at the almost invisable door Eli crouched down and forsefully opened the battery pack. Oskar could hear that one of the batteries landed on the ground, but could not see it. Eli messed about in the dark.
"Found it." He said, then he seemed to fiddle with the flashlight. And soon enough he turned it on. A bright stripe of light lit up towards the air. Eli moved it to the door, a ball of light apeared on it. Then he gave it to Oskar.
"Thanks." He said. Eli opened the door, it was still unlocked. Oskar walked in behind him and his flashlight lit up the small stairway. The roof and walls were all in a worn down dark grey color, with a tint of brown. He stole a glance of the road behind him before he closed the door. Nobody was watching.
The staircase itself seemed to be made out of concrete, it looked cold. It was much steeper than he had thought. He lit down at the steps while he walked, and much sooner than last time he was down. He walked though the door Eli had disappeared in. He lit on the floor and found Eli leaning over the boxes, probably placing the remaining batteries in one of them. As Eli stood up Oskar looked at the walls and ceiling. The walls were in a deep worn green color, and the ceiling was light grey. Were probably originally white. It was only one room, it was middle sized. Fitted well for the two of them.

Oskar walked over to Eli and put down the sleeping bag. While he did so Eli bent down again and pulled the keylock box from one of the cardboard boxes.
"I'm just going to lock the door. Be right back." He said.
"Ok." Oskar responded. And followed Eli with his eyes until he had gone through the door. He didn't even bother to close it. Oskar sighed, looked around once more out of boredom. Then he lit on one of the boxes, the one with all the toys and puzzles. Oskar sat down on the cold floor, seemengly out of concrete aswell. He bent over the box and messed inside the box with his free hand. It was filled with porcelain rabbits and dolls in the size of his own hand, all genderless. Cards, a small lion sculpture probably made of metal. Big knots and puzzle pieces. And on the very bottom an uncountable number of little black and or yellow pieces. The egg. And Eli's cube. He knew because he lifted it up, felt its weight. Eli sat down beside him, Oskar looked up. Eli smiled, seemed to be expecting something. Oskar looked down at the box again, messed in it a little bit faster. His cube? Where is his cube? He got stressed out.
"What is it?" Asked Eli.
"My cube." Oskar said. Eli smiled.
"It's right there." He said and pointed at his cube. Oskar shock his head.
"No that's yours. Mine is lighter, and it sounds different." Oskar twisted Eli's solved cube. It made almost no sound.
"See?" He continued. Eli looked at the cube, sighed for a second and said:
"We'll buy you a new one." Oskar threw Eli's now unsolved cube a bit too hard into the box. He sat back and stretched out his legs. Eli looked at him questionably and asked:
"What now?" Oskar crossed his arms, looked down.
"It's won't be the same. It can't be replaced." Eli sat with the back turned against Oskar, he twisted his body a bit.
"Yes it can." He said. Oskar shock his head.
"No. Don't you see?" Asked Oskar, he moved forward, had left the flashlight in the box. It lit up the roof. Oskar grabbed the cube from the box, sat himself back in the same position. He had a strong grip on the cube, placed it before his eyes.
"The first time I touched your hand was when I gave you this.. Well not this one but.." He let his hand holding the cube fall to his lap. Looked down at it and sighed. Eli crawled towards him and sat down by his side. The both of them now sat on their bottoms with their legs stretched out.
"The memories with the cube won't fade even though you don't have it." Eli said softly.
"I Know. I just. I liked to have it." Said Oskar, he still didn't look up. Eli took the cube from his hands.
"Hey." Eli said, threw it in the box, then took the hand that had held the cube. Twinned his fingers into Oskar's hand. Eli smiled at him, looked down at their hands holding, then up at him again. The light coming from the flashlight was dim. But half of Eli's face was still weakly lit up. The shadows over half his face were very pretty. The other half was almost swallowed by the darkness. Eli stared right at him, and Oskar could make out Eli's pupils. They had a certan dark red glow to them, like people had when someone had taken their picture with the bits on. Eli closed his eyes, leaned forward. Oskar did the same. Their lips touched gently, Oskar started blushing. Slowly and gently they started to move thir lips in synch. Dragging them over each other in a sort of rythm. Oskar's mouth filled with spit, he lifted his free hand and moved it to Eli's back. Stroked it gently. Eli's grip on his hand grew stronger, as it did Eli opened his mouth. Stuck his worm and slippery tongue inside Oskar's mouth. For a second Oskar paniced, then he relaxed, breathed through his nose and did the same as Eli. His whole face was hot as he and Eli's tongues messed about in a shared space. For a while their tongue movements seemed random, until they found their rythem again. Dragging their lips over each others, gently masaging each other's tongues. Then with the lips again. Oskar smiled, pushed Eli a bit closer to himself. Kissed him a bit faster, a bit harder. A warm shiver went up his spine. A sensation he had never felt before, he sighed with his nose. Eli let go of his hand, moved it over Oskar's shoulderblade and pushed him closer aswell. Oskar didn't think about anything, all that existed was right now.

They had been sitting like that for a long time. Kissing endlessly, pushing each other as close as they could. It seemed like forever, but the muscles around Oskar's mouth grew tired, so did his tongue. It was bound to end. He was the one who had to do it, Oskar got the feeling Eli wouldn't get tired at all. So he released, at first Eli leaned forward again and gave him a few more closed kisses. Then he also leaned back, and it seemed that the both of them opened their eyes at the same time. Oskar looked him in the eyes. During the first few seconds Eli seemed tired, then he could see an amazement grow. Eli's eyes got wider, his smile grew. Oskar looked down at his mouth, could see a thin layer of spit smeared around Eli's mouth. But not very far out. He could tell because the spit glistened from the flashlight. Oskar giggled, then he placed his head over Eli's shoulder and hugged him tightly. Eli returned the embrace.
Oskar noticed that his butt was cold, and hurt slightly from sitting on the hard concrete. He yawned. Eli still held him when he whispered:
"Are you tired?" Oskar nodded. Eli released the embrace, looked at him and smiled.
"Let's rest then." He said.
"Are you tired?" Asked Oskar.
"No, but I don't mind." Eli responded. Oskar smiled back at him, looked at his mouth again still smeared with spit. He lifted his hand, dried off Eli's mouth with his thumb. Eli smiled and let out a weak laugh. Then he lifted his hand and did the same. They both laughed a bit, gave each other a small peck on the lips. Then they stoop up, Oskar rather stifly. Eli turned around and started dragging out the sleepingbag from its bag. Oskar found the box that contained all the clothes, he lifted a T-shirt up. Smelled at it. It smelled like dirt, Oskar put ut down. looked over at Eli who was now busy folding out the sleeping bag. Then Oskar turned around to the bixes, looked for his own bag. He picked up the flashlight, lit the floor, and there it was. His tiny red bag. he crawled to it and held it as he crawled back. He opened it while sitting and dragged out all the bigger clothings. Then he got on his knees and took off his jacket, dragged off his sweather. It was cold, he shivered. He looked over at Eli who just pulled off his pants, his bare butt came into view. Oskar looked away and stood up. Heard Eli getting in the sleepingbag. Oskar kicked off his shoes and pulled down his pants. Leaving his underwear on as usual. He yawned again and turned towards Eli and the sleeping bag. He grabbed the clothed he had dragged out of the bag and started walking.

He put the clothes beside the sleepingbag, then crawled into it. Eli had moved it all the way up to his head and stared at Oskar, smirking. Oskar moved up close to him, moved the clothes under where the pillow would have been. There was what seemed like an open pocket on the sleepingbag that one would rest their head on. He moved that picket over the clothes, then ley down almost on top of Eli. They wrapped their arms around one another, and Eli startes stroking Oskar's back. Oskar sighed, felt his eyelids grow heavier. he runk down in the sleepingbag and rested his head close to Eli's neck. Then Eli lifted his hand somewhere and turned off the flashlight. Oskar yawned again.
"Good night Eli." He whispered. Eli stroked his hair gently.
"Good night." He responded. "Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"Mmm."
Darkness.

*

Eli held Oskar in the dark. Although it wasn't very dark for him. But rather in many shades of blue. Beauitful, even in this worn down old room. Come to think of it he had never looked up at anything this boring and thought it was beautiful. Eli looked down at Oskar who was sleeping. Oskar made Eli think everything was beautiful.

His head seemed hidden under the sleepingbag. Only his hair stuck up. His breathing was consistant. Eli lifted one of his hands that held around Oskar's back, and started stroking his hair gently. Careful not to awake him. He needed his sleep. Eli stared at the ceiling and smiled to himself. He closed his eyes, sighed deeply. He never knew that kissing could feel so good. Eli looked up, stared at the ceiling again. He had been lying almost like this a few times now, with Oskar sleeping. The first time he did so, he couldn't believe his own actions. But he loved every second of it, pressing his hands against Oskar's healty beating heart. pressing his head inbetween Oskar's shoulder blades. Holding Oskar as he dozed off, feeling his warmth as he slept. It was weird leaving him there in his bed, getting up just before sunset. Eli wouldn't have to do that anymore. From now on they would fall asleep and awake together. It was strange how much he liked the idea of that.

Oskar had mixed blood with him, not knowing quite what he was doing. It was like a dream. No, it was a fantasy. In every re-reading of Romeo and Juliet Eli had fantasized that someone his own age would want to be with him. Boy or girl, didn't matter. Or rather meeting another infected child. Anything, but he had queckly pushed it off as a silly little and not to mention stupid fantasy. It could never happen. Eli looked down at Oskar. Yet it did. It did just now. Eli didn't think Oskar actually understood how rare this is. Eli shighed and smiled. Finally, he got lucky.

This was the end of it. No guardians, no men. No more grown-ups. When Eli fell aslepp again they would figure something out. He wouldn't let Oskar see any of it. If he asks about it Eli will tell him, if he doesn't, Eli won't. Never again.

Eli stroked Oskar's hair again. It was so long ago that he himself got infected. It is a memory he almost never revisits. Eli tried to remember. Captive, dark room, people thrown in. Blood. It might have been one of many memories he had let go of long ago. One he didn't cherish or maybe it was hard to remember because of the infection. It was all new after all. It will be interesting to see Oskar experience it. Eli looked down at him, still listening to his sleeping breath. And sad, it would be sad aswell. Not for the people, but for him. It's hard getting used to.

I will make it better, Eli thought. I was all alone, he will not be. I had to learn everything the hard way, he will not.
Eli closed his eyes, imagined himself kissing Oskar again. He smiled, and dozed off into the nothingness he knew too well. Tried to relax. The more he rested the better.

Eli had to buy him a new Rubic's cube.

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