“Hannah? Are you ready?” Eli stood on the edge of the porch next to Oskar, wings unfurled.
“I…think so, Eli. Do you really think this will work?” Hannah tightened her arms around Eli’s neck and wrapped her legs around her waist.
“Of course it will! You’ll see. Oskar? Are you ready?”
“Ready.”
“Sava?”
Sava smiled at her and leaned back in his chair.
“Jack?”
“Ready, Eli! Good luck, Hannah!” He hoped Hannah hadn’t noticed how nervous he was.
“Okay, then!” She launched herself into the air, circled the house twice, leveled off, and flew slowly west toward the pool, about 100 feet off the ground. “Now, Hannah!”
Hannah hesitantly grew, then unfurled her wings, holding them steady just above Eli’s, mimicking her movements exactly. “Okay, Hannah, I’m letting you go now…” Eli played the cord out through the small pulley on her back and Hannah slowly rose up until they were no longer touching. “How does that feel, Hannah?”
“Wonderful, Eli! The wind feels…magical!” She simply couldn’t describe it. It was as though she could feel the individual molecules of air as they slipped swiftly past her wings; the faster ones on top lifting her up and the slower ones below, gently pressing upward against her wings as they would against a kite, keeping her from falling. And she could feel the beautiful balance of it all, and the clear limits of its almost limitless variation, and she understood it! For the first time since her fairy dream, she really understood it in its entirety. She could feel her mind expand outward into the weak neural network that guided and directed every fold and ripple in her wings’ multi-faceted surface, and it filled her with joy.
Jonathan calls that Proprioception, Hannah. And it gets better and better! Oskar glided silently in the air above her, remembering his first time when he won the footrace with Eli.
How could I have ever been afraid of this, Oskar? Hannah imagined a glittering trail of fairy dust swirling in the air behind her.
I’m turning now Hannah. Follow my lead. Eli banked slowly toward the north.
Hannah felt the gentle tug of the cord, leaned into the turn, and ancient instincts kicked in smoothly for the first time in her life. The orange glow of the sun, mere minutes below the horizon, reflected against the clouds, casting an ochre blush across her wings. She could still feel its lingering warmth. And simultaneously, all her doubts and fears of flying disappeared.
You don’t need me anymore, Hannah. Eli let the last of the cord trail through her fingers, and dropped down slightly behind her.
I don’t do I? Her wings pounded the air and she surged ahead toward the compound to the cheers and whistles of everyone lined up on the porch. I can’t believe how much time I wasted being afraid, Eli! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I didn’t do a thing, Hannah. It was all you. I knew you could do it! Kindred spirits, remember?
I’ll never forget, Eli! Hannah was sure now. Tonight she was going to pay Eli back for everything she had done for her. And in the morning, Eli’s curse would be gone forever.
Hannah! You’re too far out over the water! If something happens… Oskar dropped down in front of her.
Silly Oskar. Nothing is going to happen. She banked sharply to the right and headed back toward the compound as fast as she could fly, but Oskar and Eli easily matched her speed.
Oskar snickered.
Just you wait, Oskar! Soon I’ll be as fast as Eli. She was absolutely determined to smack him tonight in bed. Just you wait, Oskar, she thought to herself.
I’m faster than Eli, remember? I won the race! But he still couldn’t forget how easily she had beaten him the night Jeff died. He shook it off and followed them down into the compound.
Hannah flew out over the pool, then turned and headed slowly back toward the porch in a low glide. She suddenly realized she had never landed before – at least not without disastrous results. She tried to remember how Eli stopped, but her mind went blank. She tried slowing down even more, but could feel the wrongness of it and quickly sped up again. The last thing she saw before she closed her eyes and gritted her teeth was Sava leaping out of his chair and unfurling his wings. Mere seconds later, she felt his strong wings wrap themselves around her, and she was guided gently to the ground in front of the porch steps. When she opened her eyes, he gently released her and stepped back, wings at his sides. “How did you do that, Sava? Your wings…how could you fly and hold me at the same time?” Her own wings retracted and disappeared in wisps of smoke.
He smiled at her. “You’re young yet, Hannah. Just a duckling. You have a lot to learn.” He turned to Oskar and Eli who were standing behind him, mouths open. “As do the two of you. And don’t you forget it…Eli.” He glared at her a moment, then smiled gently, took them both by the hands and led them up on the porch. He winked at Elaine. “Were you worried?”
“Not a bit, Sava.” She grinned at him. “Nicely done, by the way.”
“Let’s do it again, Hannah! I’ll show you how to land this time.” Eli grabbed her hand.
“No! That’s quite enough for one evening, Eli. I’m too old for this.” Livia stood up unsteadily.
Nils put his arm around her waist. “Are you alright, ‘Liv?”
“I’m fine!” she smiled up at him. “Your favorite daughter can fly now. I hope you’re satisfied.”
“I am!”
“Dad! Mom! Can I…”
Livia sighed. “Of course, Hannah. But if this keeps up, you’re going to have to start paying rent over here.”
“Oh, Jack! Did you see how well I did? I’ll bet I’m already as good as you, aren’t I?” she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.
“I wouldn’t dare disagree with you, Hannah. You flew beautifully.” He kissed her on the forehead.
“I’m hungry!”
Jack handed her a bottle of Ejuice. “I thought you might be. And when you’re done with that, Eli’s Papa and I made sandwiches for you all. They’re in the kitchen.”
“Thank you, Jack.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.
“Great job, ‘Sis. Now you have to help me convince Mom and Dad…,” Jason stage-whispered.
“I will, Jason. I promise!” she grabbed Eli’s and Oskar’s hands and dragged them into the kitchen.
Papa smiled at Ryan and Janice. “Have you two made up your minds yet?”
“Aye!” they said in unison, then laughed.
“But we still have a long time to wait, don’t we then?” Janice sighed.
“You’re in good company, Janice. And there are already many new folks here that have even longer to wait.”
“Aye, and I guess misery enjoys company,” Ryan groused.
Papa laughed. “All good things come to those who wait, Ryan. And you two have already settled in nicely. Jonathan thinks very highly of you both, and of course, since you found Hannah, Eli never misses an opportunity to tout your talents to anyone who will listen.”
“It must be a short ‘tout’ then, Dr. Dawson.” Ryan said, embarrassed.
“Come on in, both of you, before the sandwiches are gone.” Papa followed them toward the door, then stopped short. “Ryan! You’ve got something on your back!” He grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled down his collar. “Oh. Sorry! I thought…”
“It’s just a tattoo, Dr. Dawson,” Janice said, reassuringly.
Ryan pulled his shirt off over his head, revealing a huge tattoo of a menacing vampire complete with claws and fangs covering most of his back. It was extremely detailed, well crafted, and the well-executed shadows and highlights made it appear almost 3-dimensional.
Papa sucked in his breath. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was Sava. But not as I’ve ever seen him before, thank God.”
“Do you really like it? I did it myself,” Ryan deadpanned.
Papa laughed. “Seriously, Ryan. Did you get that done before or after you met Sava?”
“I’m not telling, Dr. Dawson.” He grinned, “But do you really think it looks like him?”
“Exactly like him, Ryan!” He hesitated. “But you might want to show it to Sava later, if at all. After all the dust from Eli’s latest…diversion has settled down.”
“I agree, Dr. Dawson.” Janice quickly pulled Ryan’s shirt back on over his head and dragged him into the kitchen. Ryan was grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
“Why didn’t you tell him that you actually did the artwork yourself, Ryan?”
“It wouldn’t have been as funny then, would it?” he winked at her.
§
The three of them lay on their backs in bed, hands behind their heads, bathed in the reflected light of the gibbous moon. The blue glow on Oskar’s face reminded Eli of that magical night – the night that now seemed so very long ago; the night before Jeff died; the night before her past almost destroyed her future.
“I think it’s about time to retire those pajamas, Hannah. They’re really short, and the buttons look like they’re about to pop off.” Oskar flicked a button with his finger for emphasis.
“Are you saying I’m getting fat, Oskar?” She rose up on her elbow and frowned at him.
“No, no! I would never…”
“What then?”
“You’re getting bigger…I mean taller! They don’t fit any more, because you got them when you were 12 and now you’re 14.”
Hannah reached over and slugged him on the arm.
“Ouch! What was that for, Hannah?”
“You snickered at me when we were flying, Oskar. Did you think I would forget?”
“I could only hope.” He grinned at her.
“I have another pair just like them that fits, Oskar. But it wouldn’t be the same. These are the ones I wore that first night we all spent the night together, and you and Eli became my best friends.” She smiled at him. “And we’ll always be best friends, even if you and Eli decide to stop aging and I can’t. I promise.”
“Hannah, I don’t know what else to do! I think about the awful things I did before, and it seems to get worse and worse the older I get! All those innocent people! I should have died that first night, before I...”
“Before you what, Eli?”
“Before I started, Hannah! Before I decided my life was worth more than anyone else’s.” she rolled over and buried her face in Oskar’s chest.
“We’ll talk to Mom and Dad again tomorrow, Eli. And as often as it takes. And if you finally decide…” Oskar stroked her hair softly.
“We’ll support you, Eli. Oskar and I will always be on your side.”
“Thanks, Hannah. I’m so sorry! No matter what choice I make, it will hurt someone.”
She sat bolt upright in bed. But if Sava is right, aging will only hurt me. She shut off the thought quickly; she didn’t want to share it with them. But it made her decision for her. She would continue to age, because no matter how much it hurt her, she deserved it. And if, as she had feared, her mere existence somehow caused the deaths of those she loved, she deserved that too. But Sava, in his simple, direct way had blunted that sword with his persuasive arguments against the curse. She had never heard Gudmund’s father called a pile of steaming horse manure before, but that vivid image would, from that point forward, temper her abject fear of the creature who had forever changed her life. Dear Sava!
“Eli, what’s wrong?” Oskar sat up beside her.
“Nothing, Oskar. I’m fine.” She pulled him back down into bed with her. “I’m just tired, I think. All that flying!” she grinned at Hannah.
“We’ll practice landing tomorrow, Eli,” Hannah faked a yawn, “but I’m tired too.” Anything to get them both to go to sleep early. She had a long night ahead of her.
§
Eli? Oskar? She delicately reached out to them just to make sure, but they had both faded away over half an hour before and had finally stopped dreaming altogether. It was time to begin.
She put her hands gently on either side of Eli’s head and pressed her forehead against hers, willing herself through the boney barrier between them by imagining that her weak neural network had expanded and merged with Eli’s own. She deftly sidestepped the faint glow that was Eli’s present and the final essence of her now intangible dreams, and dropped softly into the rainbow-hued river that flowed slowly and steadily upwards out of her past, permanently coloring Eli’s perception of the present and winding its way into her future.
She took care to keep her essence just out of the flow lest she be lost in it, unable to distinguish between her own soft, pastoral-hued stream and Eli’s starker, more conflict-laden one, in which the brilliant colors twisted and clashed, elbowing their way past one another, each straining to gain dominance, then falling back as others surged forward to take its place. Through the center of it all, seeming unaffected by the chaos surrounding it, was a small, steady stream of zenith blue, varying in intensity, but untouched by all the others. Hannah moved slowly above the river into the past, beyond the blood-red glow of her own near-death at Adrian’s hands, beyond the white agony of Eli’s failed attempt to follow Oskar and Papa’s kidnappers’ plane to Manchester; beyond the brilliant sunburst of Eli’s and Oskar’s beautiful night together after their nightmare in the meadow, and beyond the fiery rapids of The Four and Mama’s near death. And still, there was nothing; nothing that Eli needed to forget; nothing to regret. All the while, the small blue thread pulsed steadily through the chaotic river of colors, tempering it; smoothing out its rough edges; keeping it within its banks.
She realized with a start that she was now beyond her own life’s beginnings, before her own small river had even begun, and Eli’s dear Mama had entered her life for the first time. But even now, Eli’s was larger, more conflicted, and more complex than hers would probably ever be. But she knew she still had over 200 years to go. And the river had taken on new and more sinister streams of bone white, soot black, and blood red, flowing together as a trio, following their own path, sometimes even overflowing the banks and becoming dominant for short periods of time, then fading back into the flow. Until suddenly they filled it entirely.
Hannah stopped. Could this be the place? She looked more carefully and spotted the blue thread, weak but steady, flowing through the heart of it all. The heart of Eli’s hibernation! After Seth almost killed her! And yet her soul is still here in spite of her parasite. Hannah was becoming convinced that the blue stream was Eli’s very essence; that it would be there, strong and steady until the day of her birth. Hannah refused to use the word ‘vampire’ to describe Eli’s traveling companion, but she could see for the first time how it clouded her life and moved it in directions over which she had no control. She sighed, and continued down the now darker river, back into the cold, black nights of a Swedish winter. And Eli’s Papa. And his nightmare that showed them both how much he already loved them. And still, no regrets. Even past Detective Ellstrom; no regrets.
She moved faster now, not knowing how much real time she had left. Time itself seemed to vary and she had lost all sense of it, immersed as she was in Eli’s past. The river was dark and shallow now and meandered aimlessly through a surrealistic landscape where mere shadows of people moved silently to and fro, unaware of Eli’s presence until…
Hannah recoiled in horror as Eli dropped from a fire escape onto a passing shadow. She could feel the pain of penetration, the tendons snapping and blood flowing, flooding her mind with memories she had, until now, suppressed, and she was transported instantly back to the night Adrian’s fangs pierced her own neck. It took all her will to keep from fleeing back to the comfort of their bed and leaving this more primal Eli to her dark pursuits.
It was only then she realized that the blue stream had disappeared completely. She forced herself to stop, and slowly backtrack forward in time until…
The jungle gym. And the beginning of the steady zenith blue stream in her life’s experiences; the stream that flowed steady and strong, never faltering, up to Eli’s present and as far into her future as Hannah could see. The blue that blossomed with Oskar’s gentle caress.
“What did you do that for?”
“I'm sorry ... I—”
“What did you do?”
Hannah smiled to herself as the pieces of the puzzle finally came together:
In the kaleidoscopic river of her life experiences, Oskar was Eli’s favorite color.
§
Oskar’s eyes popped open. Eli! He reached over, found her hand, and sighed with relief. For a moment, he had thought… He raised himself up on his elbow and saw Hannah’s forehead pressed tightly against Eli’s and her hands on either side of her head holding her firmly. What is she doing?! Hannah?
There was no response. He put his hand on her shoulder and shook it gently. Hannah? Are you awake? Hannah’s only response was to tighten her grip on Eli. Get lost, Oskar, she seemed to be saying. He looked at the clock: Four A.M.
He reached for her again, but thought better of it. Instead, he reached out and delicately touched her mind. And with that touch, saw a Hannah he had never seen before – strong, self-assured, and intense – moving easily in places he knew he could never go himself. Eli’s memories were one thing – he knew most of them by now. But her past? Her living past? To him, her memories were like photographs or at best, short film clips, but to Hannah they were like a full-length film; a 200-year-long epic odyssey, in which everything Eli remembered, or had carefully buried in the darkness, was exposed to the light; horrible things that he sensed as Hannah moved carefully through Eli’s dark past, before Blackeberg and even before Gudmund. And there were too many to count buried there, teeming with tooth and claw; blood and bones; tears and desperation.
Oskar backed away quickly, suddenly frightened. He was afraid to interfere, no matter how much he wanted to; he couldn’t take the chance, and Hannah clearly wanted him to stay away. He pressed himself up against Eli’s back and buried his face in her hair. And waited.
§
There were so many; so very many. And Hannah felt each one as she uncovered it, exposing the raw wounds to the light of day. But as terrible as each of them was, she felt Eli’s sense of fatalism; her acceptance of what she was in spite of what she had long ago wanted to be. And with each one she uncovered, amongst the thousands that weren’t hidden, she knew that she hadn’t found the one – the one that had numbed her to all the others.
She followed Eli further into the past from Blackberg, to Norrköping, to Jönköping, to Trollhättan, and Gothenburg; to myriads of small towns and villages, to Stockholm, back to Gothenburg, and finally the beginning – Norrköping once again, to a small cave at the end of the valley, where Eli wraps her sister’s bloody dress around her waist and flies west toward Gothenburg. But before that – nothing. A darkness so deep she can’t penetrate it at first; a darkness out of which flowed a river of featureless gray, cascading down steep rapids, picking up myriads of new colors as it fell and finally settling into the high banks of a more familiar river, marking the beginning of Eli’s 200-year-plus nightmare.
But try as she might, she couldn’t penetrate the darkness. And the more she tried, the more certain she was that the key to the mystery lay within it.
She began to think that it would be impossible to penetrate – at least not from this end of the timeline. So she moved swiftly past it and realized at once it was actually a very brief period in her life; no more than a few weeks at most. And she wondered what terrible thing could have happened in that brief period that was so much worse than her beginning.
On the other side of the impenetrable darkness was a single murder—Elias’s first—a poor hapless hunter who was in the wrong place at the wrong time; terrible for Elias but then Eli still remembered it so it couldn’t have been the cause. Then came the castle. And the beginning. And finally, Elias, the sweet, unassuming farm boy, who had his whole life ahead of him before he was chosen. She was surprised to see that Elias was so much like the Eli she knew, but younger in spirit, full of life, still naïve, and surrounded by the love of his family.
So, from there—from the beginnings of Elias’s sweet, gentle life—Hannah turned and looked back towards Eli’s future. She was absolutely certain now that something happened in those terrible dark days that not only destroyed her hope, but burdened her with guilt, and at the same time, turned her from Elias to Eli. And so Hannah slowly and carefully picked her way past the night Elias had been chosen, past the corpse-filled trench and the stench of burning flesh, past his first visit to the cave and Elias’s first murder, and finally, to the beginning of the darkness. She held her breath, put her hands firmly against its tangible surface, and…slowly pushed her way through, peeling it back as she went, exposing what lay within to the multicolored river of Eli’s memories—forever.